Do you ever just want to fade away? Have no one think of you or what you’ve done, and not deal with the shit you’ve made. I do not know where this all began I’m really only a 14 year old girl. Do you ever feel like you are being watched all the time? Like they are watching you and laughing at you and being hurt by you, and judging you all the time? Well I do. It’s this constant feeling of judgement, I feel. And the pressure is literally beginning to kill me. I just can’t handle it anymore. I feel like everything I […]
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Standardized Testing
So I had standardized testing on computers today, and my teacher gave an instruction he was unclear about, and I did the wrong thing, and he fucking screamed at me right in front of everyone. I made it to my quiet corner of the band room before I started crying (it was lunch after the tests). So I spent half an hour sitting behind the brass kettle drums, trying not to cry and slicing at my wrist with scissors, because I didn’t want to bleed everywhere.
When people yell at me, especially with an audience, it reminds me of my dad, who has abused my mom […]