Hey i really need somebody to start travelling with full time, backbacker style. I live in montreal, so if you live in canada and are interested, really serious, hit me up and we can laugh, cry, exchange, travel and live together for a while. zamilee1@gmail.com for any info about me and talking about how we’ll organise our meeting! I don’t bite! I won’t say my life story here, so please write to me !!! I am so sick of this place and need to get away from this 🙁
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Im sure my brain is “wired” incorrectly
Unable to sleep propperly since a child
Earliest memory is standing above a large drop (for my age/height at the time) wating to throw myself down it
So I have been wishing death since 4/5 years old
Im almost 30 now and it cant continue
In the past I have tried a mix of different drugs, as one does in younger years
I found almost all of them to produce strange effects ine that no one else got
Mdma made me feel like my body was stuck in slow motion. Anti depressants are based on this kind of chemical structure and in turn cause similar […]
suicidal thoughts & cutting have always been apart of my life but when i decided to quit it became extremely hard on me. i had delt with all my problems this way & now i dont have that. i have to find another way of dealing with my problems so i decided to start writing. my school councelor gave me this idea. he told me that i can make it. im a strong person.i suppose… if all the other people that cut & have tried suicide can quit than so can i.
Stage 1.
Blaster of death.
Two player. Our shadows intertwine.
In full-throttle collateral damage.
Dreaming of the upmost dynamic.
The one of the chain of the wicked soul.
The comrade of life and death.
The game board is in reality.
For the life of my story.
Dying in our lost corridors.
Gotham, waiting for a sound.
Far from here. Far, far away.
Arkham, waiting for a sound.
Far from here. Far, far away.
First objective mission, videogame game-station.
Remote controller, in the hand of divinity.
Let us play. The wings of Satan, is my cape.
The battle of the living heroes, of the dying race.
Damien is my child, in Arkham town.
The reality against one man. The suit of sorrows.
Enter.
The Alpha Line, here.
Stage 2.
Blaster […]
well before people were domesticated, before “civilization” people generally did not live far past their 30’s… In fact you’re 30’s were considered you’re senior yrs….
Maybe this was nature’s way of mercy killing, rather than be drug on to live through misery and you’re body breaking down, once it got to the age where you couldn’t enjoy the things you grew up doing anymore, nature decided to perhaps have a heart and let you go.
These days I hear older people constantly lying to themselves that “things aren’t that bad” just to cope with it. For some maybe it’s not, but for many it is that bad. […]
this poem could use some work but eh, i’ve had some writers block so
you and I are out in the sea
Lost and afraid, you look at me
I hold you close but pull you down
and look away as you start to drown
I watch you sink then start to swim
Remembering that it wasn’t me you loved, it was him.
the sun goes down and I’m all alone
Shivering in the dark blue water, i’m on my own
The storm approaches and the waves hit
I ask myself “is it time to quit?”
I kick and scream in desperate need
someone pick me […]
I stare up from my casket where they lay me to rest
I watch my family as they place roses on my chest
In a blurred second i experienced all the joy they gave to me
I do regret the rest of their lives that I won’t get to see
Please friends and family, dry all your tears
I will always be with you, so please have no fears
I hear them say how they never saw it comin’
how I was so happy,and they wish they could’ve done somethin’
I still remember all the pain I had inside
all the hopelessness, sadness, and anger […]
All I seem to do is fuck up everything… Where do I even start? I don’t know. My head is spinning, and my body aches and if I stand the dizziness will knock me down. I don’t even know what to do with myself. My teachers tell me how I’ll make it far in life, yet I’m unable see it. Once they know I’m suicidal they’ll get the stupid counselor involved and they’ll realize how the weak cowardly freshman will never accomplish anything they once thought she would. People around me can’t keep their mouths shut, they always have something to say. I’m tired of […]
I’m a twenty two year old girl, no I am not a lesbian, nor am I bi-sexual. I am however trapped in the closet. My plastic bag over the head method failed me for the last time. I couldn’t control my body from ripping out of the handcuffs and ripping the bag off of my face. Sheer willpower wasn’t cutting it.
So, I’m trapped in the closet. Its a tiny closet that I’ve locked myself inside and am hoping to pass away in. If I’m lucky I won’t be awakened to my sad life in the morning. If I’m lucky this small, tight limited oxygenated […]
I have no gripe with the basic design of the animal known Homo sapiens. It has an impressive free range of motion, adaptability, fingers which allow it to perform delicate tasks as well as arms which provide strength, and it has a brain that is capable of some logic as well as emotional thoughts. And while not quite as impressive in this regard as, say, Canis lupus familiaris (the dog), it has some capacity for selflessness and dedication to things other than itself.
On an individual basis, Homo sapiens is a decent design. But when people start acting like people, that’s when this decent design falls […]
Up until now, I’ve never actually made an account for a community website such like this one- instead I’ve just entered questions to my problems into a search engine, hoping to find a response to someone else’s post that would satisfy my query. This is my first post!
Let me break this down,
I’m a 20 year-old college student at a small state school. I’ve never been officially employed. I did exceptionally well my freshman year in terms of grades, but making my way into my second (this) year, I didn’t expect my girlfriend (of two years) at the time to break up with me, and […]
I’ve recently been told that I could possibly have bipolar disorder. I looked it up, and it sounds similar to what I experience. This isn’t the first time I’ve been told that I have some sort of depression, I’ve heard friends talk about me or even tell me to my face that I should get it checked out. I always try to look my best and happiest when I’m around others but sometimes it apparently either looks too fake and they know something is wrong or they just catch me off guard. I have mood swings, but I’m 17! I thought that was normal. […]
Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. I believe that is true but life gets so hard and out of control sometimes that for most of us we feel it is the only way out. It think that life is a gift that people misuse. Think about every person that has ever done you wrong, hurt you, and driven you to the point where you just want out…. Now forgive them. Sounds hard right? I’m telling you to forgive the person that has mistreated you, beat you, or made you feel worthless. if you forgive them you will have this peace of mind […]
Im 16, I do independent study. People just say “join a club” or “find a hobby” but I dont even know where to start. I dont really have any hobbys, Â I kickbox and do jiu jitsu 3 times a week but its only adults in there. What are some examples of youth clubs that are usually in towns? I can feel myself cracking without anyone to share this this life with.
I don’t know how to start this
But I feel like I need to get it out there
The words that are stuck in my throat
They need to come out of the darkness
And into this world because if they dont
Im just going to keep bottling it up
I guess I was always okay with what I looked like
Then one day that changed
I got more self conscious of my weight
My hips, my stomach, my waist
All of it I hated because it was never perfect to me
My hips were never wide enough
My stomach was never flat enough
My […]
It’s pretty simple actually. First, you need to buy a plane ticket and travel far far away to an island called Hell. It’s a very mysterious place. In order to survive there you dont need to do a single thing. The bad thing is that you dont gain anything either i guess. You’re just stuck. No one really knows where this place is located or when you’ll get there, but trust me, you will get there eventually. Once you arrive, do NOT rest. Start immediately to search for a way out of there! You will probably meet others there. Some are lying on the ground […]
Did you ever wanted that every human being had a restart button and start all over again? well, that’s all i ever wanted since i start to feel this way, empty, usseles, no loved, but no, you need to learn how to live with it, you need to learn how to deal with every day, i don’t think i’m learning to, i don’t like this world, i don’t like my life, i don’t like anyone around me, Â I HATE THE FACT THAT I ALWAYS WANT TO FEEL LOVED, I HATE THE FACT THAT I ALWAYS DEPEND ON SOMEONE, Â i hate myself, but sorry, killing myself […]
You want to be happy, don’t you?…do you?…do I?…perhaps…even then…(Questions for members)
by KIRA
written by KIRA
What if you had a perfect life?.I mean, what if you had the life you want?
Have you ever imagined your little perfect world?.You probably did.
What if you were happy?.I mean, most of the members (including myself) are always complaining about how bad their lives are, would you be able to manage a happy life?
Have you ever thought that unhappiness may suit you better than happiness?
You could have a happy life and feel like a wretch, happiness could drive you mad.
What if you were happy…and then, one day, you start thinking: Is this what I wanted so badly? doesn’t seem too […]
Think i am ready to start over per say. I don’t have a medical condition or was i bullied. Only 37 but feel like 90. Just ready to go. My solution to problems and issues was to start alienating everyone in my life. Did not prepare for succeeding. Got what i thought i wanted. Miserable eveyday and not willing to live like this. If there is someone in your life don’t make my mistake. Don’t let pride give you an excuse to shut everyone out. That person may be able to show you a brighter day. Wish i could articulate better. Can’t get out what […]
Go to sleep and close your eyes,
and dream of broken butterflies,
that tore there wings against a thorn,
you know the pain that they have bourne.
Sliver metal shine so bright,
scarlet blood that feels so right,
dream of blood trickling down,
and wake up before you drown.
The moonlight shining off your tears,
as you bleed out your worst fears,
so tonight when you start to cry ,
whisper the cutters lullaby:
Hushabye baby , your almost dead,
you don’t have a pulse and your pillow is red,