This awful stillness. This heaviness in my chest that saps me of all my energy and leaves me feeling depressed an hopeless.  I can’t cry and there’s nothing I want to do. I don’t want to stand, sit, walk, run, play video games, watch tv, draw, hang out with friends, read, go for a car ride, write this post. Nothing. There’s just nothing. I don’t want to exist.  How selfish is that? haha. Mom, Dad. You suck.
Tag:
Stillness
As we are to the world, but I guess you would know that.
Favorite line from my favorite song. But moving forward.
I’ve been plagued with the world’s worse bout of depression I’ve ever felt. Its not that I havn’t felt this way before, but the difference here is that I can’t cry; and something about that seems to be hindering my healing process. Quite frankly though, I’m getting tired. Very tired.
I feel like I’m going insane, and the stillness I’m experiencing is like an inner ring of hell. I’m depressed to a point where there’s NOTHING I want to do, which makes no sense seeing as […]
I saw the mist that day and it entranced me.
I went in not because I chose to be different, or I chose to be something else; I consciously was drawn to it, the mystique, the vapor, the aroma.
I left the group and went down the misty path. I loved it. Everything around me swelled up and was lost. Slowly I lost sight of where I came from. I wondered where I was going, who I was going to meet in this mist.
The beads of water fell onto my face. The cold bit my nose ever so gently, the air was lively and dark. The lights […]
It has stopped.  The agonizing cries have ceased.  No longer will I see shadows chasing my footsteps.  I have materialized once again to bathe myself in a world of love.  I see smiles and happiness all around me.  I am beyond thrilled to feel a touch or witness a smile guided in my direction.  I am a victim no more.  The sun shines on my face.  I moisten my lips and wait for it’s beauty to bestow it’s essence upon me.
Yet, Â I cannot feel it’s grace. Â It does not come. Â The faces start to blur and laughter no longer blesses my ears with it’s sound.
The dullness […]