It has stopped.  The agonizing cries have ceased.  No longer will I see shadows chasing my footsteps.  I have materialized once again to bathe myself in a world of love.  I see smiles and happiness all around me.  I am beyond thrilled to feel a touch or witness a smile guided in my direction.  I am a victim no more.  The sun shines on my face.  I moisten my lips and wait for it’s beauty to bestow it’s essence upon me.
Yet, Â I cannot feel it’s grace. Â It does not come. Â The faces start to blur and laughter no longer blesses my ears with it’s sound.
The dullness of night has returned to me.  No longer need I plead for mercy but no longer can I feel it’s compassion.  My awareness fades my salvation.  The temperature slips to a deep chill.  The air is consumed with a thick silence that echos through time.  Fascinated with its thickness I take a breath to feel the extent of my survival.  I am deluged in just enough oxygen to sustain my body.  I fumble for more while I yearn for less.  I clench my legs and sit still.  Frozen in place and time.  Frantically, I await for a light to shine and a moment to come.  A moment that patronizes me with it’s patience.  Gingerly I rise, attempting to abstain from gorging myself with ruminating thoughts of betrayal.  The wind sweeps me upward and everything stops.  I  scowl at the world and it’s faithful blindness.  Perplexed by life and its ripping and piecing back together.  I lay on the verge of spilling my dreams again.  As the world spins, simpleminded exertion stifles me.  Staggering for stillness, I find myself, falling once more with a blood drenched dagger in hand.