My name is Elizabeth. I am 14 years old, and I’ve wished for death for a couple of years, and I’m certain it is the only thing I’ll be able to succeed in this life; I’ve tried not to think about it, but it always comes back. In moments when I’m lonely and when it’s silent, I’ll think of death and how to achieve it. I wish I was normal, that I didn’t have these thoughts. I wish I could have changed the way my mind works, and how it always tells me to ruin things. I’ve lied to everyone I’ve talked to, I’ve insulted […]
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Stomach Pains
I don’t know. I’m suppose to be happy, I’m finally getting a full makeover this week on Thursday and Friday for saturday’s prom. i always wanted to be pretty, pretty enough for guys in school to stop saying how ugly i am behind my back or to my face. Pretty enough for me to have a guy look at me and say wow your pretty. Or at least pretty enough for me to actually have my first boyfriend, or even my first kiss. I want to be able to walk down the hallways with confidence and not  with my head down. I know that I’m […]
Depression is kicking my ass right now.
I feel fat and ugly (I’ve never felt really bad about my appearance before. It’s like when I look in the mirror, I see the fat 12-year-old I once was. Now I feel that way even more, even though I understand fashion and makeup and hair even more than I did in high school.)
And I feel worthless no matter what. My parents treated me like shit for 19 years, all they ever taught me is that all I’m good for is sex, chores, and looking pretty, and that nothing I ever do is good enough. Well, thanks […]