I cut because I want to feel. I want to feel the sting of the blade, and then you know how you’re arm feels limp and dead for a little? I enjoy that. I like running my fingers over my cuts, and feeling the bumps along the way down. I don’t cut my wrists; I cut my upper arm. My upper arm is like a journal now, telling stories of my pain, anxiety, and frustrations. I started cutting about a week ago, and I’ve already lost count of my cuts. I hate to say it, but you know when you read that some people get […]
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stories
Nice to meet you. Or really, everyone on Suicide Project. I have been reading several stories for the past few days, and… I love this place. It’s a place where we suicidals can tell what is going on in our dark, lonely, minds. We suffer mentally, really. We are doing so much wrong, but it feels do damn comfortable. Well, this sounds like quite a thing you guys have here. I’m Poison. This world has me going mad; to the extent of cutting my own damned skin! Anyone else really tired and sick of society’s crap? Cause then you are welcomed to be my friend. […]
I’m not falling for the hoax
This sick twisted joke
Nothing is real
Except the emptiness that I feel
Keep the stories to yourself
As you file my memory on the shelf
I won’t let my conscience get in the way
Before I let the silence take me away
Its weird, when I was growing up in a very conservative home, went to a Christian school and I used to feel like I was suffocating all the time. I am not a very religious person because I don’t really see the point. Who can prove one god exists and one doesn’t? My life goes pretty smoothly and I have great family and friends and I play college sport; so it seems as though my life as a purpose right? I feel as though when I truly look at life as a whole I don’t understand how God (whoever that may be) can not be […]
I didn’t have a childhood; I don’t remember it. I don’t remember anything properly until age 13. I’ve heard stories; trips to disneyland, birthdays, holidays. I don’t remember anything.
When I was 15, a memory came back to me. A series of memories, in flashbacks.
I was four. I remembered all those times you left me alone in the basement; I remember crying so loudly that the neighbours called social services and I almost got taken away. I remembered that time you were on the telephone, screaming to somebody that you were going to kill yourself and me.
The last memory I have is of the day you […]
I’ve started watching anime lately. It’s really captured my mind and makes me zone out. I love it, the Japanese have a way of writing stories in a way you are bound to feel connected too it. The problem however is that my life looks bland and boring now..
I wish I was part of some show. The daily drag of living feels like I’m being tied up to a car and towed face down. I can’t even make myself content with desolving in daily routines anymore.
I’M SICK OF THIS SHIT!
I did promise I wouldn’t abandon this place. I don’t know why I care so much about the people I’ve never met behind the stories I’ll never really know. I guess I just feel for you and your darkness. I wish I could take it because it seems so wasteful.
I am still very tired. Since my last post I’ve cycled through a few medications with no effect. I’ve found that I am not getting real sleep as I have some sort of growth in my head. I haven’t told my family I am on the verge of passing out at least 5 times a day […]
I have an appointment this afternoon with my therapist. Â Do I tell him that my suicidal thoughts are beginning to reoccur with greater frequency? Â For so long since I was hospitalized last year, I’ve been free of thoughts of killing myself.
I don’t want to go back into the hospital or into a residential mental health facility because I’ve admitted my depression is growing. Â I also don’t want to disappoint my family by relapsing.
This weekend my wife, my oldest daughter, and I visited my youngest daughter who’s away at college. Â I was very irritable, probably more so than at any time since I was treated. Irritability […]
This is my first post here, so if I do it wrong somehow, I apologize in advanced.
I found this website during winter break when I was in a pretty upset mood and reading the stories on here didn’t help lighten it. But I couldn’t turn away from it. I felt connected to these stories. It was as if someone felt the way I did, even if it was just a little bit. I hear stories all the time about people being bullied and committing or thinking about suicide, but you never hear what their stories are, how they truly feel. That’s what really drew me […]
been in this site about a week readin and readin the stories… i’ve been depressed for 6 months and now i’m runnin out of resources to get my mind out it, since i’ve already failed in everythin n developin panic/anxious attacks isn’t helpin. or might be… actually the attacks are gettin a full mixed of emotions and desperate livin/dyin feelings. i just dont know whats real anymore… takin even more pills to get to sleep but every single minute dreamin about humiliantin/powerfull evil forces (not like ghosts or somethin) comin to me and makin the few people that i love suffer. i wake up with […]
I found this website when I Googled ‘suicide starvation’. Some sick part of me wants to thank the people who’ve written about such topics, as I’ve never found a website that made me feel so secure before. Reading the stories and other bits on here has given me a new light to look to. One where I’m not as alone as I once believed to be.
I don’t have much else to say right now. Now’s not the time to share my story, and I’m doubtful of anyone wanting to be bothered with that anyway. It seems we all have our own problems to deal with […]
I hope to make it through. I have one more year in this damn house and I’m moving out. I’m so done with my parents! I’ve heard to different stories. I’ve heard college gets worse and I’ve heard college gets better. I guess I have to wait and see for myself. I mean I don’t think anything can get worse then what I’ve been through and going through now. If it does I won’t make it.
I really dont feel like i have a place in this world.. i was born to die young.. I just know it. I always think of myself and i cant do anything righ, i cant help people in any way.. I always push people away from me its pretty bad.. I just really dont have a talent. Im not smart. I cant write stories i cant sing i cant cheer anymore i messed my knee up. i cant help people out. i just cant do anything right. I dont want anybody to pity me thats the last thing i want.. if anybody watched the twilight […]
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