I have reached the a point in my life where certain patterns have repeated themselves. These patterns once thought under control have so gone out of control that the pattern is now a real relative in my life. This pattern at first was just bad emotional output on my part, then the second time occurred and its all the same all over again the exact same way it ended the last time. The last time I lost two very dear things close to me and now I have no chance of ever seeing them again due to my own stupid decision. This time the thing […]
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Stupid Decision
Hate, depression, constant crying, constant suicidal thoughts, constant self-harm. Who am I? I wish I could remember but the image of who I used to be gets fuzzier, and fuzzier. Had I known I would feel such loneliness in the future, I would have ended my life on that faithful April 27, 2006. I’m surrounded by many who claim to love me, yet in my mind I’m trying to deal with the fact that I’ve been abandoned by everyone. Maybe I have and everyone is just pretending to be nice, all I ever meet are extremely nice people, and I can’t help but love them. I […]
My note
I made a stupid decision.  I know it’s selfish, and I’m doing it for the stupidest reason.  I can’t help how I feel.  I have felt like this for a long time.  If you want to know why, Jackie has the full story.  She knows me better than anyone else.
To my mom and dad
I love both of you very much.  You were amazing parents.  I loved going to disney world.  I loved going to mexico.  I loved going on bike rides with you dad.  I grew distant from both of you, and i don’t entirely know why.  Over the past few years, I’ve […]
This will probably be somewhat incoherent. I apologize in advance for that.
I am 25 years old, and just graduated from a university with a degree in music. I took out nearly $60,000 in private student loans to get the degree, to say nothing of the federal loans.
My job prospects now are no better than they were when I was in high school, and are in fact worse, thanks to the economy and my foolish, self-indulgent decision to get a music degree. The worst part is that my family cosigned on the private loans, and they’re going to destroy their credit along with mine. I could […]