I’ve wanted to die not long after I’d been born. The first time I tried to kill myself was when I was four years old. And for the people who have told me that my brain wasn’t fully developed yet, its impossible, i wasn’t capable of feeling suicidal, bullshit. I remember it. I wanted to die and I was perfectly capable of feeling hopeless. Â The next seven times I tried to kill myself was when I was ten years old and living in hell. I remember I brought a large steak knife up to my room and just held it up to my neck till […]
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Suicidal Child
So as i was taking a shower, i just randomly began to think of how i had no childhood.. how i was a depressed and suicidal child, how i can hardly remember all the fun times i had but can vividly remember the days and nights i spent crying in my room feeling isolated and alone. As if no one could save me. I had flashbacks of getting bullied, of all the shit i had to put up with. And after the flashbacks, i felt nothing. I thought nothing. I could only stare at the wall with wide eyes. My body was cold, i had […]