I almost made it 28 yrs ago when I felt the world had given up on me or maybe I had given up on the world i don’t know any more I was 24 just had my 3rd son and in my 2nd marriage my first one was abusive , I finally got out. now my husband had left me with a newborn . my family no help said i was crazy like my Grandma I cryed so much that no tears came any more just the empy feeling nobody loved me nobody cared the world would be better off with me gone,I took the […]
Tag:
Sunday School
I feel barely alive, like the world itself feels unreal. I just feel nothing anymore. Nothing comes through to my heart and it’s in so much pain. Not my parent’s love, nothing does.
I’m so alone, my whole life I have been. I’ve been informally diagnosed a schizoid/avoidant by a psychologist. The only girl I’ve felt much of anything for I met years ago in sunday school but after so many tries I don’t seem to be able to get through to her. I could live if my life was being together with her, but that’s not possible it seems. She has […]
I know what you’re thinking… “I’m going to tell this depressed person, either to contact professional medical help, call mom dad family or friend, just don’t do it because all life should be valued.”
Please don’t tell me this again. I’ve been to countless therapists over the course of my entire life so far. All I want is for someone to understand why I would want to kill myself, not just make me feel stupid for wanting to, or telling me that God has all the answers, or make me feel bad for being selfish that I want to kill myself. I just want someone to […]
I thought I was nothing once…
It seemed I was a small, insignificant part of the world, and when I died everything would keep moving forward as if I didn’t ever existed in the first place. My hopelessness… my struggles… they were all too much for me. I was ready to die, not knowing what was on the other side, but hoping it was better than the hell I was living.
I was two years old when my parents divorced. I was the daughter of a 24 year old Sunday School Teacher and a beautiful 18 year old High School Graduate, but others in our community […]