Taking The Pills

While one day falls into another, I only hope that this is a dream.

I’m too old for these feelings. I’m in university, doing an incredibly difficult course which I spent my whole schooling trying to get into. I chose this. I am crippled by social anxiety, so I chose to live alone. I am simultaneously envious of people who can be themselves, surrounded by friends. I chose to be like this, every decision pushing me further inside my head. I am painfully crammed inside my own skull.

Surely I’ll wake up, a happy, normal, real version of myself. Surely I’ll be able to think beyond myself.

I […]