i remember when life was fun, it was exciting and adventurous. i remember as a little girl, sitting in class dreaming of growing up and travelling the world. i remember dreaming of the places i would go, and the things i would do. i remember dreaming of my career, and the love of my life. but now, i sit here in year 11. life seems to have gone so quickly, i walk through the hallways at school as a  nobody. invisible and unseen. bad thoughts running through my head, constantly. life seems to be a burden now, a task, something i must endure. yet no […]
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Tears Of Joy
There lays a girl
in a large room, painted in white
yet the walls are darkened from the lack of light
one small window can only let in so much daylight.
Situated in the middle, eyes glued to the ceiling
wondering when the outside world will come to a halt
when the noise was disappear from her ears
yet it all still surrounds her.
Tears stream slowly, yet are not visible
screams would be heard
if only her voice wasn’t lost
for she is too afraid to be open to this world.
Day is coming to an end
yet it feels like no time has gone by
everything has always been that way
dull and the same.
How to escape
to feel alive
to […]
Another long one.
Seems like a good time to continue on with my confession. I ended the last post after I was caught. I injured myself for four years before my mom saw….. but then again you see what you want to see. My sister an I were always held to a higher standard than most kids. If we got a B on anything we were grounded. A’s were all my mom cared about. Nothing else. She got on to us for every little thing, making it a contest between the two of us. That is the main reason my sister and I started fighting. After […]
I’ve always gone back, to the place where I once sat and cried. I can remember the pain, watching all the little kids play and me just sitting there and wanting one to come over and ask if I would like to play with them. I remember when I sat on the swing and watch the girls play jump-rope and the boys played one their game-boys. I remember being alone. It hurt everyday, and everyday even more rage would full me up inside because I wouldn’t eat anything. I remember hating myself and wishing I could start over or die. It didn’t help that […]
I came out I was bi to my mom and it wasn’t the reaction I expected it to be. I expected it to be tears of joy but it was tears of madness and anger and I started to cry cause i didn’t know why she was getting mad of the situation I mean aren’t u gonna be happy for me i came out to u cause I trust you and now I have no choice but to think to kill myself I mean why hasn’t god taken me yet i mean it’s my time to go :/