What do you expect from a delinquant. I am not fucking insane even if I want to be. It would explain everything that has happened along the way with me, but all I really am is stupid and delusional and just a total crackhead. I wish I was brave enough to take my own life. Maybe someday I will be,but all that I want now is to be stong enough to die, to throw myself under a car or cut my wrists or just take a bunch of pills and never look back. I may have found the perfect way but the […]
think
I honestly belive I am horrible person. I sometimes think about death, and wanting to kill myself, but not very seriously, so I wouldn’t consider myself suicidal. Still, I need to talk to someone because I would never tell my family or friends any of this, so obviously I have turned to the web to vent. I honestly think I ruin everything. Everything I do wether it’s little or small, I always manage to screw up. I feel like everything’s my fault. I keep trying and trying but still I feel like everything is just not turning out. And honestly I am tired of screwing […]
Short-drop suspension is the way to go. Slip knot on the rope to tie it around my neck…That works fine.
…But I’m not sure how to tie the other end to something. What you guys think? How can you do that?
So I’m not ready to die yet, but I don’t feel much like dealing with life all the time. I just want to sleep all my free time away. I hate weekends, too much time to think. But my sleep cycle is completely normal, sadly (haha).
So I’ve been thinking of taking sleep aids to just force myself to sleep all day. I just want to eat and go back to bed on days I don’t have work or school. Breaks are unbearable… Somedays I can see friends, but not always, and being by myself just makes me think too much and I can’t stop […]
when yiou drink the rest of hyour champagne and drink some whiskey and take you r medicine and end up bcoming so out of it, you ccan’ t even think. yeahhh. todahy has sucked. Â fucked up once again, …the girl i love is gone and her e i am, wishing i could take that razor and cut my vewin open…but i don’t have the strength…i’m too tired. i’m tired of everything. i have my first day of work tommorow that i’m probably foing to fuck up as well since i forgot eveerything. i need to sleep but no, i gots tio go get a […]
Why is it at night I wanna cut?
Burn my arm with that cigarette butt,
Feel that rush running though my veins,
That sweet sensation of pain,
Some nights I want to take the blade right along my neck,
End the misery, the pressure but out of all that what do I really get?
Then I think I should just do this,
I know for a fact I won’t really be missed.
People will be happy to see me go,
Didn’t think people could be so low.
They are the real soul takers,
And dream breakers.
Funny how when its morning my thoughts are gone,
Right at the crack of dawn,
I forget about the blade, the tablets, the […]
I had made plans that today would be the day that I would kill myself. I planned on walking up the cannon packing my gun in a back pack, I would go off the trail and go to a little cave like structure and put a bullet in between my eyes. I had walked to the location before, I know exactly where it was going to be. Now that I think about it I don’t think that I have the guts to go through with killing myself. Im scared to shoot myself, even though death is what I want the most in this world, Im […]
warning i am writing this out of lonliness, i am telling my story that may be traumatic and triggering to others and my journey so far. i am leaving out some strong details, but i will leave subtle hints to the other things i experienced which others will understand if they’ve experienced also.
Why is it? some people are just always last? always the scum to everyone else?
When you try so hard in your life and people say your doing great but you know your going no where inside, when you scream but no one hears you?
When you can’t get close to anyone anymore, when i […]
I can’t take it anymore I really wanna kill myself but can’t get the courage to do it…. I cut myself sometimes and I’ve been huffing Lysol so I don’t have thk think about things but now I’m really at my lowest and just wanna end it. I’m going to hang myself but need to get the courage cuss I’m a lil *****.
“When I walk into a room, even filled with people who hate me, I feel like I’m cumming. Not the orgasm, but the satisfaction that comes with it. That’s how I want to help pothers feel, because it allows you to be unbreakable. And as much as you may think you’re already there, you’re not.”
“And as much as you may think you’re already there, you’re not.”
I’m sorry if I put out the vibe that I think I’m superior or that I get off on […]
now i know he’s a terrible person, or has a severe mental illness. i can’t decide. and i can’t decide which one is worse. he doesn’t care that he is preventing my from graduating. he doesn’t care. he doesn’t care about how terrible he is. I’m selfish? yeah i guess. does he not see how effing selfish he is?! and cruel?! omg. i explained everything in plain english, and nothing. he just keeps saying he hates me and he’s canceling his phone. HE HATES ME?! I HATE ME! I HATE ME BECAUSE IM NOT WORTH DIRT TO HIM. there is no getting through to him […]
far out.
the world is an incredible place.
how funny that we can value something like life so much when its so temporary.
i value my life with everything.
i value the history and the future, and the morning and the night, the water and the sun and snow, and the food and the sounds; i value everything that will inevitably end. if your in a relationship and you find out that it will come to a tragic end, you’d get the fuck out, save yourself the heartache right? but thats everything. every person you love you’ll loose; there all just temporary components of the illusion that is your […]
I act strange, well… I understand philosophy, quantum physics and things like that, but I think the other people are harder to get.
I dunno, I think the other people act strange too.
Most of them are mean, arrogant and harsh.For example, if somebody’s got a big spot on the nose, they wouldn’t think twice to mock him or her.If somebody is overweight they’d start bullying.And so on…
I’m so dumb sometimes…
Once a girl “befriended” me and we used to talk about everything, she said things about me but I couldn’t notice she was actually insulting me, she was just having fun, laughing at […]
After being beaten and abusea by my step farther I run away from home. i spent 2 years sleeping rough before they found me. Refusing to go home he beat me again, this time rupturing my spleen. I was in hospital over 2 months. No one came to visit No contact from any one. Sum years later I am still bitter and angry. I have a gross scar that take up most my chest and can’t take my shirt off without people looking and asking questions. I don’t sleep well and often wake up screaming. I struggle to make friends, trust people an have been […]
I am 45 years old and an electrician who is currently laid off my second wife of 8yrs and I just separated i’m on community Corrections for a DUI i got last year got blow machine on my truck and no income so i’m kinda fucked but really i put out my mind the bad shyt focus on tomorrow
I suffer in silence but so desperately want to be heard.
Don’t ask me whats wrong because I wont be able to tell you- just know whats wrong with me and tell me it will be okay.
Tell me things will get better.
Things wont get better right? I mean whats the difference between this school and another. Whats the difference between this town and any other?
Whats the difference between the you you hate now and the you, you’ll hate tomorrow.
As much as I’d like to think things will get better when I get out of this country I cant help but realize that the problem is me.
me: […]
for some reason. the music artist Eminem knows exactly what to say.
hes a roll model to me.
i dont care about his past. and things that he has done.
he just gets to ppl. (i think)
hes the only person that knows how to keep my head up
i just listin to his music and listin to see what he went through and i think to my self i dont have that and if he can keep everything going then can i.
he talks about his life. and how he gets through it telling you to keep your head up to. and gives advise!
if […]
I just wanted to say thanks, for every one who wanted to help me on here. I’m sorry it was all in vain though. I’m not completely set on the idea quite yet, but if you don’t hear from me, it’s because I’ve killed myself. Hopefully tonight. Maybe I’ll take a bath, cut my arms, take every pill in the house, and put a belt really tight around my neck and somehow strangle myself. Think that’ll work?
Haven’t slept in two days. Not depressed, just I get insomnia sometimes. I lie awake in bed with my eyes closed for several hours until my alarm goes off. So work was hard today. But I love my job. I thought about suicide for the first time in months today, but not with much conviction. I didn’t really want to die, not like before, but it just felt like it would be easier. I’ve stopped feeling depression (along with every other complex emotion) thanks to sertraline. It’s been such a long time since I felt happy our scared or angry or ashamed or sad. I […]
One day in the middle of class
while everyone was working,
my eyes filled with tears
because I knew
they were thinking about
their work
or friends
or after school
but all I could think of
was how much I’d rather
be at the top of a building
about to jump