At this time of night all I can think about is I don’t fit in with this family. My dad got this girlfriend and she has three kids. I’m 21 and they rang from 10 to 12. I get I have to grow up but dam they talk me into these “family” trips. I am not the family type. I love my family but I can’t do the happy family crap. My family if broken and I am trying to keep the little family I have together.I cry a lot more then I use to and my friends have talked to me about how scared […]
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Three Kids
This one’s pretty long, sorry if I bore anyone. I should preface by saying that I’ve been depressed for four years. I was formally diagnosed with major depressive disorder January of this year, but I knew long before. I’ve never had a true friend, anything even close to a relationship (been led on a few dozen times), and I feel alone constantly. Recently my diagnosis was changed to suggest the cause of my pain is ADD. I’m not sure if the doctors are right, but amphetamines are helping a bit lately. This is the story of the last eight months or so, from the first […]
I’m done. Nothing I do is ever enough, and it never will be. My entire life has been one big failure after another, and I am so tired of trying.
Funny thing is, if you saw me on the street, you’d never know my life is a living hell. I’m “happy.” People are forever telling me how “strong” I am, blah blah blah, but I’m NOT. I just put on a good face. I go through the motions of daily life, but inside, I’m screaming.
Why do I want to die? Ha! Take your pick of reasons-I’ve got plenty of ’em! Let’s start with a little history, […]
I don’t know why I’m writing this, maybe it’s to release all my feelings somehow but I don’t think it’ll make a difference. I didn’t have a great childhood. My parents always fought and my dad was/is abusive. It hurt to see him hurt my mom and my two younger sisters. I used to care that he hit me but I got used to it and I just wanted to protect everybody else. Heck, I used to crave him abusing me because in my head that meant scars, bruises, belt marks. Evidence. I hoped that one day it would get so bad that someone would […]
Hate it, seems like I always have… Somewhere along the line I had three kids… I really hope they don’t have problems like me. I cant do anything I would like to about my problems cause I refuse to saddle them with that… Freaking stuck like chuck in a worthless whirlwind of shit. I would tell you my story but there is no beginning and unfortunately no end in site. Somewhere in the middle are some selfish parents a cheating wife and whole bunch of money problems…. Three great kids though… I cant screw them up 🙁 . Its like a life a sentence on death row… Hows […]
Like many other people have said, I’m not sure why I’m writing this. I guess just to get it out. I’m 39 years old and my life is such a mess. I’ve been married three times, and apparently no one can live with me. I have three kids whose lives I’ve probably ruined. They have a mom who loves them very much, but won’t have a dad. And I know all to well how that can affect your self esteem. I work and try to the best I can, but it just seems like I make things worse on everyone around me. My poor mom […]