I’m out on the beach, and it’s really crowded. There’s at least 3 feet of space between myself and other beach bums. It’s really hot and sticky out there. There’s not a single cloud in the sky, besides a few swipes and swirls of cloud matter here and there. My hair is a knotty and matted mess from the sea water and all of the wind, and I’m trying my best to relax and let go of all the tension in my head. It’s hard to though, because not only am I uncomfortable in my black bathing suit, but I have a sort of paranoia […]
Tag:
Thumb
four months, down the drain. i want to get a tattoo when i am older, one that looks like the red scratch on my hand at the base of my thumb. i have tried to tell myself that it doesent count, but i know that it does. i know that after four months i have hurt myself again, but to be honest i dont care. everything was just building up inside of me and everytime i look at the cut i am not angry or sad. i am strangely happy or proud. i dont know why. this cut right now means so much […]
3 things to never do:
try lie to a teacher, getting you expelled.
ignore a guy who pours his heart out to you for over 2 years (only to fall for him when its too late)
or watch thirteen when your are a recovering self harm addict.
i came so close. i ran around the house looking for a pencil sharpener, unscrewed the blade andmy mind went blank. i dont know what happened. the next thing i knew, i was crying in the fetal position. i opened my hand and the blade was deep in the skin at the bottom of my thumb. i had squeezed my hand shut […]
I feel so stupid. yesterday i didn’t go to school, and so i was in my room, and i lit my candle. A piece of paper fell into it and caught on fire. I not thinking, grabbed it and got out of my room. I ended up with 2nd degree burns on my thumb. I feel great. My bf was at school today to turn in his books and say goodbye. He really isn’t coming back and i told myself that im stupid for actually thinking that his sister was wrong and he was coming back.
I really just want to escape […]
I want to start by saying that I’m quite damaged. Just like many I’ve been through some things. Lots of things. Complicated and simple. I have hope. But don’t take that so fully. Don’t eat it, sip it. Lasts longer. It’s early in the morning so I’ll do these in parts as I’m sleepy again. I hope you are able to find a ray of hope in each part.
I’m obviously still alive. Why? I do not know, but a spark is still with me. Whether I admit to it or not. It’s there. In middle school I had this spark when my grades were failing, […]
They say you are shaped by the bad experiences. That what does not kill you makes you stronger. That all good things come to those who wait. Don’t wait for good things to come you must fight to get what you want. Travel the path less trodden. There is a fork in the road. A narrow path, and a wide winding path. Choose the most exciting.
I have heard so many contridictating sayings in my life that it can make one explode with uncertainty. But that’s where my experiences come in.
I’ve trodden forward before. I’ve survived bullying, teasing, physical abuse from peers. Verbal abuse from my […]
Tonight i’m going to truely give in to this stupid cycle of misery and i’m going to make it end.
I’ve planned it well i beleave no one suspects i’m going to do it, i saw a counselor and i lied to him and chickened out of the help i know i need, walking into his office i felt so sure that he could fix me, help me but then i knew that no one could fix me so i lied and made out it wasn’t as bad as it seemed ironically he asked if i had a plan or some method, i said no […]