and i realize that
at this point, its not a cry for help
or that i just want the pain to go away
the only thing i really want at this point is to cease my existence
i do really want to die
im just drifting, gripping onto late projects and upcoming concerts
new seasons, concerned friends
but i’m going to end up dead in a ditch anyways
addict, alcoholic, homeless, eating disorder relapse
one of these things is going to consume me when im living on my own
and eventually kill me
so why not get a head start?
i cant even leave the house without being terrified that im going to bump into my rapist
im […]