I’m back on campus and it’s just overwhelming. Between school and my other responsibilities I get so stressed. And I just cry. I’ve been doing good about not having bad thoughts (why am I alive? whats the point? why did I die when I tried? etc..) but the past few days they’ve come back with a vengeance. And I don’t want to do it. I don’t want to do life.
Tag:
Vengeance
I dont even know why Im writing this. Im pretty sure it wont help but I have to try something… I am suicidal but you know the worst part.. I dont even have the balls to commit suicide.. I guess I should explain myself but i really dont know how to structure this.. So im just going to ramble.
I’m 23 years old and I’m from India. Right from my childhood I’ve had a sense of fear in me that never leaves me. Guess its all cause of my father. He used to beat my mother and sister and I used to cower in fear, just […]
I have bi polar depsession. I was diagnosed when I was 12, (even though they aren’t supposed to diagnose that young) Right after my mom died. I battled with that for years alone. Up until I was 15, when a wondrous new disorder came along, anorexia. Now, I’m 18 years old. When I Was 16 I met a boy and fell in love and gave him everything. He helped me start eating again, Which we thought was good. Until I lost my virginity to him and got pregnant because I was now able to have children again. So now, I have a one year old […]
I am really having a hard time right now; this past week I’ve been keeping myself fully occupied with asking people to keep me from being alone (everyone goes out of their way and does so in a heartbeat) with times spent in between writing to others I’ve ‘met’ here. There’s no relief… I mean, I put myself out there in an attempt to feel some connection but no matter how much I try, or how others try, I still feel numb… worse possibly. I never expected anything in the first place but I guess I just need to write this out right now and […]