A bit of personal history: I was once a top student in my Primary school and was subsequently admitted to a Secondary school of repute. I can say that this is the heyday of my life. Things starts to get sour in my third year and confidence in my ability seemed to drain away when I failed consistently to score despite all my efforts. No matter how hard I try, I just could not get it. It is the feeling of ‘I worked so hard but got so little while others have it made for them with brighter minds. It is so unfair that anyone should have a worse genetic makeup than others’. I too wasÂ wrecked with the question of ‘what is my purpose?’ and since then, i have been trying to find an answer. It got worse when i entered High School and after reading Rousseau’s ‘A Discourse on Inequality’, a dreaded sense of futility set in. Now it seems that not only that my endevors will be futile, but also that the whole human society in all its pursuits (happiness, power, glory, honour, etc) are futile. I am now a student in college doing a course in the Arts (failing badly, failed 8 courses) and still i do not have the slightly answer to the question ‘What is my purpose?’
Thus my questions to all:
1. What is your purpose in life? How do you go about finding it? Does this sense of purpose lose its momentum often and slowly fades to nothing?
2. What is the purpose of life in general? What keeps you going on despite the futility of life?
Being alive meaning constently trying to satisfy our desires and gratifications never lasts , forcing us are back into trying to fullfill them again, an everlasting circle of futility. I believe that all that which humans desire can be reduced to happiness. People may desire glory but fundamentally, glory brings great joy. People may crave power and control but essentialy, power and control grants enormous happiness. However happiness is transient and fleeting, snowflasks in the suns.
3. Do you believe in Free-Will? Do you think that you have control of your life, able to direct it in this direction or that?
I believe that determinism is at work not only in the sciences, but also in human lifes. A casues B, B causes C, so on and so forth. Everything has a cause.
‘I am drinking water’ is caused by ‘I have the desire to drink water’ which is caused by ‘My grogginess’ which is caused by ‘lack of sleep’ which is caused by….etc. A single event is caused by a single or many factors that precedes the event and these factors themselves are again caused by other factors that precedes them. So if we continue following this path of causation into the past, everything that is happening now is already determined by the creation of this world. This means that our future has already been written even before we are born. You are who your are because of your genes. You are who you are because of the ways you are raised. You are who you are because of the various experiences you have. Where does free-will come in?
Since the future has already been written, where is our free will?!
I would greatly appreciate it if you could post your answers to these questions and share your experiences. It would be a great help to me and i am sure, to many of the souls wandering the gloom as well. Thankyou.