So, I went out into the world today. Crazy, I know. I didn’t even give a shit if I looked like a zombie. I didn’t try to put on a happy face or smile at strangers or laugh needlessly. I was myself. I was my emotionally drained self. I felt like I wasn’t really ‘there’ today. Not like an out-of-body thing, though. Ugh, I don’t know how to explain it. One of the things I did today was return a pair of jeans that were too loose. I now have $28.00 to my name. Yay. I’m going to hold on to that 28 dollars like […]
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Zombie
Tired of the same thing. Every day. Feeling like garbage, wishing I was normal. Â
Sick of feeling sorry for myself, thinking about my problems instead of helping myself or others.  I recognize that I am self absorbed, but I can’t stop these thoughts. I want them to go away, but they don’t. I’ve tried Diazepam, Ativan, Effexor. They didn’t help me feel better, they just made me feel like a zombie; Neither good nor bad. I spoke to a medical doctor, a therapist, a psychologist, a parent, and a friend. They helped me hang on. Told me pleasant lies to subdue my anxiety and placate my mood, at least for those moments I was with them. But […]
Every day I feel less like living more like dying. I feel like a zombie going through the emotions of life only to be grasping. My husband truly hates me. How do I know? He tells me that I am a horrible person who has no redeeming qualities. All I do I do for him and our child. He just hates me and I am not sure what to do with that. We have been together since we’re 18 and I just can’t see how to go on without him. That’s all I ever wanted to be was his wife. I really have no life without him.
I […]
First of all, i’m beyond grateful for this site, it has seriously shown me how many people are going through the same stuff I am. Obviously you don’t have to read this, but, i need to write it. I may never go on this site again or check it, but i need to let my soul just spill. I grew up in a Christian home my whole life. My father was a missionary and my mother is/was a seriously strong christian. Recently, i’ve been going through serious depression. I don’t know what’s wrong with me, I’ve just been a zombie. I’ll come home from school […]
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