February 2nd, 2011by lonely boy
Hi, my name is Xavier. I am a 14 year old boy. I suffer from depression, suicidal thoughts, and social anxiety disorder. If your wondering why I bothered to include my social anxiety disorder,Â it’s because of school. As some of you may be aware, social anxiety disorder is when you get freaked out about being near other people. Some people have normal social anxiety which is just getting a little nervous when they are near new people. Some people get it mild when they take longer to get to know people before getting comfortable around them. Some people ( like me ) have severe social anxiety. For me it’s so hard being near other people that I try to escape at any cost. But as I have to go to school everyday skipping school for a day doesn’t really help in the long run. So suicide is my long term solution for it. Besides that I have already been having depression and suicidal thoughts for other reasons. Like about my family not loving me. About not having any friends. About being a freak and not worthy to be on Earth. I would simply like to know away to end my life peacefully and not painfully. I have access to pills, but no guns or any weapons. I do not wish to use pills but recently they have been looking like they might be my only escape.
Please do not post about why it would be a waste of life to kill myself. I have already come to terms with my inevitable suicide. I am also Atheist, so I have nothing to worry about morally or anything to look forward to in the afterlife. Thanks you ~ Xavier
“Behind my smile, I am broken. Behind my laughter, I am crying. Behind the happiness, I am depressed. Behind the joy, I am lonely. Now the only thing left for me is death, and I am ready for it.” ~ Xavier Avila ( Myself XD ) Like it?