This is for you especially:

http://us11.chatzy.com/spprojectt

And anyone else who wishes to talk about anything. Use it as a way to tackle problems, as a distraction or even just for conversation. Whatever you want to talk about. People are there.

For the longest time now, I have been living my life from the outskirts of life-always an observant, but never a participant. I have always felt so separated from everything-as if all were just a dream unfolding before my eyes, and if I were to attempt to reach out towards anything lurking before me, it would fade away from my touch.

Nothing has ever felt real to me-everything in my life has just felt like some sort of temporary sensation that fills me with places, faces, and feelings, yet they all come to pass just as quickly as they came. I try to decipher meaning from them all, yet any sense of definition or purpose slips through my logic of reasoning.

I guess a part of the reason I have always felt such a sense of disconnect from the world stems from the fact that I have always been a tremendous introvert, and a bit of an …

My thoughts are dark and every time I try to make them known maybe get a little attention so someone can fix my messed head, everyone assumes its art. Wanted to kill before but that flame is gone these days. I only feel like taking myself out in style. Body full of bullets type of shit. I mean I feel lonely in a room full of people and the one girl that kept me sane and happy kinda told me she didn’t like me no more. My psycho self comes back. I feel pain a bit differently I see everything as a suicide object. Needles, knives, cars. I actually have this suicide thought of me crashing my car into a tree or a wall and then maybe blowing up. Or burning slow, way slow. Enjoy the pain because love I can’t understand. Death maybe the answer and some days I wish I can have a …

I need a stranger who will read this or not. Yesterday I was Christmas shopping and buying a present for my boyfriend, trying so hard to pick out something and I was so happy and excited. We have been together for around 5 months and I don’t think i still know what the word boyfriend means or being in a relationship. If i knew it, it wouldn’t be like this. So funny how things can change in less then a few hours. I don’t deserve to be happy, i don’t deserve to be loved at all. I should be dead!

My boyfriend went to spend the weekend with his friends in V. We texted each other just before he went out. I decided to go out too with my friend and we had a great time meeting new people and fooling around until we got so drunk and ….I was reckless and i talked with other …

I wish I could get high, find some sort of pleasure besides cigarrettes and masturbation

ALthough i may be in the army, my suicidal thoughts remain somewhere in my head, they resurface occassionally.

School is great, we’re getting copious amounts of notes and are practically halfway through the course and yet i feel no smarter on the aspects of mechanic work. It seems all we need to troubleshoot is a computer, tech manuals and a tool kit and suddenly we’re professional mechanics. I should have chosen a more advanced occupation., I dont even like cars enough to pay attention to the minute details of an engine. Who cares about a 6.5 liter turbocharged diesel engine?

I wish I could explain more, but as of now I’ve had no sleep, most of the monster has worn off and i have a lot of shit to do today, including fix my room up since we moved out of the fifth floor …

i cannot sleep, again, it has been about two weeks, the voices will not let me be. the feeling is just so overwhelming. i am trying to listen to his music. i want to get into his head. i want to feel what he feels when he listens to this. but then again maybe i shouldn’t. i do not deserve him. he deserves better. a lot better than me. i am not good for him. i wish these feeling would leave me alone. i hate being weak. i hate being alone with these thoughts. in the moments i feel most alive, they bring me lower than the ground. i want to go smoke, just breath deep, inhale, start to lose grip as the smoke fills my lungs. i want to take a drink, begin to feel my body go numb as i drown in the liquor. i want to take a few pills, let it …

I need some help figuring out how to ease my pain I’ve literally have been laying in bed in agony with shooting pains down my right arm and right shoulder blade it’s gotten to the point where it’s so stiff it’s hard to move. I do not have a choice of going to the doctors, so I’m wondering if anyone has dealt with it because I took a few Motrin and naproxen and they aren’t helping AT ALL

Never try to be an authority on the divine. It’s a much more personal, undefined inquisition. We may be living in the same universe but it is filtered by our own perspective where at its purest, the concept of right and wrong, real/not-real, etc., are not subject and subject to our own perception together. Don’t forget that the very universe we live in is infinite! Where even if the known depths of the conceivable matter that make it up were to “end” and all that seemingly continued was empty space, that empty space is still “something”. This alone, if you will, proves that there is something more to life as it defies our logic and that no limit can theoretically ever be proved let alone conceived in our mind. This was one of my earliest marvels of life, the very universe we live in is infinite. Really take time to appreciate that if you will, …

I suppose this becomes my home again, for the next little while. The one place I will just keep returning to, until my life is finally ended. The only real place for me. I just keep getting my heart destroyed. This time is different, though. I mean, I don’t fall for just any person, but when I do fall for someone, I fall so fast and so hard. I just don’t know what to do without him. I am not even sure what I am anymore. I was once bisexual. Technically, I still am. Could totally copulate with either gender, but I do have to be in love with them. In the last year, though, I have found myself more inclined towards other males. I don’t know why. Maybe their personalities. However, then I fell for this guy. After having two horrendous rejection/abandonments, I met this guy. I drove 500 miles there to see him. …

After spending a long time face down in water in the middle of the night with noone around, , theoretically I should be dead. I am obviously not. I believe this is why. I suggest all of you try this prayer…..
Prayer for Those Coping With Depression

Dear Lord, you are our refuge in good and in bad times. In your infinite mercy, bring peace and comfort to those of us who face days sometimes filled with pain and depression. Help us to realize that through you there is joy and the promise of lasting peace. Help us through the rough times. Walk before and beside us so that we may walk in your footsteps and reach out to you in our journey on this earth. Help us to focus on our blessings rather than our misfortunes, dear Lord. Thank you for hearing and answering our prayers. Amen