whats worong oh its a long storey… that gos on to this day and befor and after the pane is like a monalog from a play or a poim

“is this a dagger i see befor me” yes the same one that is going to kill you and has cut your arms
“if i shuod diy think only this of me” that no one cared
“love me sweet rosalind” cos no one els will
“he liys slane” by his own hads lets leve the bodey

the resons go on

love xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

How do you deal with anger. Anger is an incredible understatement how do you deal with life when you have a constant flow of hatred in your veins. It gets bad like stabbing pain in the gut bad. You just want to scream and yell and savagely hit everything around you. But that’s not right there are rules if you don’t follow them they just cage you agin……FUCK YOU EDDY YOU BALD PAIN IN THE ASS.
I want forget I want to forget everything. But I can’t

I came to this site hoping to find a place where I could share my feelings and just have people accept it. I get that everyone wants to help but all I’ve gotten is judgmental comments. Regardless of if you’re trying to be hurtful or not, I’m in a fragile place and I don’t think this is the right site for me to be on. Maybe I’ll come back later but I can’t deal with this anymore. Thanks SP for nothing.

So … I’m ready for this.  I’ve been reading posts on this site for many months with great interest.  Perhaps I *do* need stay alive?  Yeah … no.  Every single person seems to fall back to the Bible and Jesus thing and you know what?  That doesn’t work for me.  I gave religion a chance years ago and it did nothing but repay me with judgmental wealthy bishops, fingers pointing at me telling me I was WRONG, nodding of the heads, parents grabbing their children to “protect” them from me (’cause you know all homos are pedos!) and just so much judgment that it literally broke me down.  Even on here so many want to use little buzzy words: “build a raft” and go meet people and you’ll feel betterrrrrrr!!!!  Oh my goodness.  Quite humorous actually.

That was then and this is now.  For so long the tiresome acts of smiling wide at others and pretending “errthing good!!” … well it’s just become too exhausting.  There are so many things I’ve tried and failed at in the past so … *drum roll* … hopefully I planned this one out properly.  I even used a bit of scrum with storyboarding to ensure I didn’t miss anything.  If for some reason it does *not* work out then I’ll let y’all know.

But as for now … for the first time in some 10-15 years I am at last content.  For the first time in so long I feel relieved as if I’ve not a care in the world.  So …

I really don’t know if I came across this page by accident. I already know the answer; it was no accident. 27 years ago, I took a bottle of pills to end my life; at the time I was 14. Yes you can do the math; now I am 41. During that time, I felt like I was too nerdy to have any real friends and I tried to “fit” in by doing all the wrong things: drinking and sex. Well then, I didn’t have to worry about HIV/AIDS. Anyway, I felt as though the only thing my parents cared about was “bringing home good grades”. I didn’t feel loved or appreciated by anyone. Well, of course I lived, because I am writing this.
Fast forward to now. I have 4 beautiful children who are all allowed to be themselves with no pressure of pleasing anyone but themselves. They have never been spanked, beat, cussed at or dictated on what to do with their lives. I only ask they respect me, themselves, and others. Not to be floormats or punching bags for anyone. They know they deserve the best and demand it. They do not fit in with the status quo, they don’t dress like everyone else or even care what others think. They are honestly free. Free-er than I ever was.
I read you guys posts and I so hear myself 27 years ago. You are told that you …

I read all these stories and they make me upset. I want to help … But I don’t know how to even help myself. Just know that I understand and that I would do anything to fix things for you… If I could.

I am sick and tired of feeling sad.

I have no one to turn to. I’m sick of constantly crying its all I seem to do these days.

I used to be so happy and outgoing. I don’t know why changed.

All I know is I’m sick of being a failure, everyone looking up to my little sister and me being the outcast.

I am sick of being stupid and useless. And I am sick of being fat and ugly.

Who would miss me if I died? Yeah my mum and dad would but I’m sure they would get over it with the super star little sister still around.

I can’t usually talk about my feelings and this is the first I every have so thank you to who ever reads it.

I am sick of crying all the time

There are moments in life when your parents or friends fail you or you feel like you have failed them.  I want everyone to just think about what is really happening around them.  Just sit back and close your eyes and think of any friends or family or moments in life that has made you smile.  Those people… yes, all of those people are there for you.  Even if you don’t know them, they are there for you.  They love you and they will miss you and you will hurt them beyond anything you can even imagine.  Just hold on for one more day and then a week and then a month and just keep holding on.  You don’t know when that next moment is yours and turns everything around for you. If you need to talk or if you just want be something to someone, you can feel free to reach out… guyinthesouth@outlook.com

each day getting more narrow than the last,
something i’ve dreamed for is just overly too vast, for this time, this place, i only exist to trace the same lines in my head that get me to lie and hate the world for it’s views and news, i can’t choose whether to lose a side of myself, that part of my brain, which holds the truth, as i await the grave in fear when it all comes to end that there won’t be any gate, to let open the goods that i’ve achieved here on earth, but if anything at least i’ll be sleeping in dirt.

something i held dear was new life before this. it didn’t have to be like it has. or how it will be for you now..

i’m so sorry mom. please forgive me..

You are so LOVED!!!!!!!!!!  I am a survivor of severe depression and know what its like to have been the brunt of every joke throughout my entire school career, to be in a room and feel so completely alone, to not fit into my own family.  There is HOPE for everyone of you contemplating suicide.  Killing yourself is not the answer.  There is so much that each of you have to offer that others around would miss out on completely.  You cannot see that and I know that because I was there, but you have to CHOOSE TO BELIEVE IN YOURSELF!  There doesn’t have to be a reason to choose to believe, just make the decision.  Choose to LIVE.  You are WORTH every breath that it takes to keep your body going.  Don’t give up on life!