July 23rd, 2016by Beautifulblood
I was a pastime for someone. Need I say more ?
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What the Hell am I doing messaging the ex who clearly hates me!? Why am I hoping for one last chance when I know I destroyed my last chance… I wish something would end already: either my existence or this weak, tiny voice screaming out to be saved by her; I don’t care which. I wish I was stronger and could rewind time… Even now that voice is singing, “This Love Never Ends” by Takeda Touhei, even though the dark abyss is blasting, “Not Strong Enough” by Apocalyptica…
I guess I just want to play one last game of tempting fate. No, it’s not tempting fate …
5 hours ago • General
Hi, im new here. Im going to explain one big reason why im hurting in the inside.
Since I was 11 I’ve always been depressed cause I never had a GirlFriend and that goes into the reason of me having social anxiety.
I’ve always been nervous around people and I never had friends. I wasn’t diagnosed with social anxiety until I was like 13 im 15 Now.
I’ve made a plan that if I don’t get a girlfriend by this Christmas im done.
I need a girl to love and I want to be loved for being me, I need a girl so i can enjoy life with.
Ok i …
8 hours ago • General
my family betrays their desire for me to “be normal” and “feel better” with their actions. these are not the actions of people who believe in me. these are not the actions of people who think my illness and symptoms are legitimate. these are not the actions of people who truly care about my well being. i have no one but myself, and even then the one i have is the one i’m trying to kill. those who are not chronically depressed, who don’t feel the lurking sensation of death and negativity hiding behind every thought and action, those who can live freely and overcome …
10 hours ago • General
They sent me the e-mail!! They said I am enabled to take the exams!!! It seems that they didn’t pay attention to my screwed-up application form.
I’m so happy, there’s still hope for me to go!! To be finally free!!
Tests will be next Friday, I believe I’ll do it great in languages, but I’m still scared of math. And I believe there’s no much I can do.
And I’m also scared of hope. What if I came until here only to fail at the exams? What if I stay here? Will I die this year, even though my reason
I wish I can go back in time like wolverine (in days of future past) and change the past and fix my future. There will be so much I will change in hopes I will have a better future.
Unfortunately I can’t. But it will cool though 🙁
12 hours ago • General
I’m new here. I want to be happy, but it seems I don’t know how. Lately everything I have that is good….I seem hell bent on destroying it.
Recently fought with a boyfriend….I got drunk (real smart to do when you take antidepressants ), searched his texts ( new low), and left him without his knowledge while barefoot, drunk, and half out of my mind. He won’t talk to me…
I never share all of my pain bc I am afraid pe
ople will pity me or think I’m seeking attention. I’ve thought about ending my life more in the last three months than I ever had. …
13 hours ago • General
Those Scars On Your Arm , Were From Another Life .
For Everyone with Scars on his Arm .. Imagine those Scars were from another life ..
Remember each scar .. Why did you cutted through your skin .. What had you shed blood for ?
How Much Blood Had You Shed For The sake of being Hurt , to calm your pain .. That pain has only got greater .
Those Scars Are Not You , They Are Your Pain .
You Cannot Forget , But You Can Imagine That Those Scars Are Not Your Pain .
They Were From Another Life .
iMessage/email @ : email@example.com
13 hours ago • General
I’ve written variations on this before, but it’s on my mind again.
For reasons I won’t go into, the kind of relationships I want with other people are beyond my grasp. The fulfillment that many get from partners, family, friends etc. isn’t really open to me. I think this is the main root of my anxiety. My brain desperately tries to work out some way to find what I want, but it can’t. So I turn to various compulsive behaviors to try and fill the absence of purpose this leaves. But nothing really satisfies, and ultimately I realize that it’s all empty to me. Which leaves me …
14 hours ago • General
This is just a short essay about what I’ve been thinking about the world recently. Interested? Read. Otherwise don’t.
(I felt like that was necessary just so people know what they’re getting themselves into before reading the whole thing through. This is going to be a ramble but i’ll try and be as insightful as I can.)
Been in a real deep slump recently, one of my worst. The usual thought-cycles keep swooshing around my brain, usually starting with self-hatred leading eventually to me trying to act as my own therapist attempting to figure out how I ended up in such a state. One of the causes that I often blame …
15 hours ago • General
I cancelled my plans to go. I realize that there might be some way out of my physical problems. Maybe, if I don’t get rid of my problems, I’ll still live to do something big for the humanity in the field of math or computer science (I’m a major in them)
I hope I don’t come here again 🙂
Peace to all of you.
20 hours ago • General
I am taking a break from life. A fierce battle enraged inside me lately, and I found all my faith almost shattered. It left me to question the days ahead. I’ve decided to take a break. Reconsider things. Find answers. To what, I don’t know. Find a part of me which is lost. Which part, I don’t know. I’m struggling to find some sense. Hold on to what’s left of the sanity in me. To heal, maybe. You know, just like back then. Cut off all my ties with the world. I may or may not be able to fix the strings afterwards. I need …
21 hours ago • General
Two people I have cared about died suddenly. One of them hurt me by cheating and the other one I was just getting to know. It seems almost daily that I wonder why they went over other people who have lived fuller more happy lives. I feel like they should’ve had the opportunity to turn their lives around. Both people were in pain and I feel that people always say “at least they are not in pain anymore.” That is my wish for both of them. The one I was getting to know I planned on visiting and going to do something fun together. It …
21 hours ago • General
– me wanting to die
-> 100% reliable method. <- (doesn't exist as far as I know. Cant afford to fail)
– waiting for you
If only you knew how much I wanted out… I'm so sorry.
22 hours ago • General