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Blocked

October 22nd, 2014by namelessqueer

So they blocked this website at work. I’m not sure if they saw that i was visiting it an inordinate amount daily or it’s a coincidence. I can’t really look at it as often as I’d like.

I stayed home today. but I called in sick, showered and ate so I think i’m doing pretty good. I’m not letting things fall apart but I don’t know how I’m gonna make it tomorrow.

I feel stupid. I’m a bit ashamed of my sadness but at the same time I want to be out about being sad and sometimes suicidal. I hate the stigma. the fact that I’ve used …

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If…

October 22nd, 2014by Deathy058

“You are loved.”

In a wash of memories, that’s the one I have always picked to drag me up by the boot straps.  It’s nothing special, just a former love standing in dim blue light, grabbing me by my hand in a moment of weakness.  I remember the intensity of her eyes, two pleading brown pools that shook my spirit.  It was a simple gesture that took all the internal monsters away, castigating them to an ethereal plane–where they could never hope to hurt me.  Her love was battling them in some far off land, and in that moment, I felt loved.

I’m sorry that the memory …

2

Setting in…

October 22nd, 2014by Deathy058

I am not certain what to type here.

A few years ago these tendencies, these thoughts, would feel foreign to me.  To put it mildly, life was pretty good.  I had a significant other who wanted to marry me, I was a straight A college student, and I had a broad pick of graduate programs to further my degree.

Now?

Enter the cliche story; she left me for a friend, college ended into a dead end midnight job, and graduate school did not work out.  After diving in the deep end into jobs just to stay afloat for the past year, I am now left jobless(at 26), and I had …

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death

October 22nd, 2014by looking4peace

theres got to be a way

1

Saying Hi

October 22nd, 2014by EvilKitten

I’ve been super crazy busy and I hate that I don’t have time to come on here and read posts, comment or write anything. You are all awesome and have been so amazing to me, so I just wanted to pop in and say hi and that I’m still here, just working a lot and busy trying to find a second job. Crazy crazy life never slows down, haha.

 

I hope you all are well and hopefully I’ll get my schedule balanced out soon. I miss chatting with you guys.

 

<3

EK

2

Last night, I got a long hug. And someone listened to me.

October 22nd, 2014by AmIStuckNow

Someone really helped me. It’s long, but I want to put it into words and share.

Yesterday I felt extremely lonely. Devoid of all emotion. I just…couldn’t feel anything at all.

Almost anything. Just when I looked in the mirror and saw age spots and gray hair on someone so young it just showed the fighting I’ve been doing and stress of my life. At that moment I felt anger, worthlessness, and wasted years. It was like all of the emotions I’ve felt were physically manifesting themselves as a cruel reminder, every time I look the mirror – looking back at me.

I was thinking about suicide…again…but I …

3

Happy Birthday

October 22nd, 2014by octoberdragon26

My birthday is always a difficult one for me to swallow. I’m always alone, depressed, thinking of what it would be like to be released from such a hell.

 

I see people my age hand in hand, laughing hanging out having a good time, enjoying life.  I’m alone and in pain that has become so familiar it’s like an adopted friend I can always count on to be there. The familiar sting, burning sensation I almost swear is right under my skin as the pain wraps it’s arms around me in a loving embrace.

 

I had a girlfriend who recently broke it off and told me, she …

7

Cutter.

October 22nd, 2014by emptinessinme

Hi,

This is my first time posting here. I have read a few posts just now after getting out of the shower. I’m an 18 year old girl. I was just cutting myself in the shower for the thousand time. I have been cutting myself since I was about 14 however I have always been suicidal. I used to try to suffocate myself at 8 which seems silly because that would never work. I have tried to overdose on pills but that didn’t work. Now it doesn’t even hurt to cut anymore. I have cut my arms, my stomach, my hips, and my legs. I’m a …

1

October 22nd, 2014by Bisban

 

Where a humble shack at

5

Unwanted birthday?

October 22nd, 2014by transition

Some might think of this as just exaggeratory, but I am coming up on a birthday that I consider a milestone/breaking point in life. Has anyone ever gotten to similar points where all an upcoming date reminds you of is how much hasn’t been accomplished, or happened for you? I really don’t want to see that day, and keep hoping I can get to a peace with my death because I don’t see much after that day. Anyone have similar experiences/perspectives? This song sums it up nicely for me……

 

1

I’m Not Sure What To Do

October 22nd, 2014by Lost_And_Alone

I’ve been dealing with this pain for so long… I’ve attempted so many times. I can’t take this anymore. it kills me. I’m afraid to make friends because they’ll all just leave me by death or turning against me. I’m so sick and tired of crying myself to sleep EVERY SINGLE NIGHT. And feeling like a fucking mistake to my parents. Why was I born? My mom should have fucking got an abortion. I DON’T WANT TO BE HERE! IT’S TO FUCKING HARD! LET ME GO! PLEASE PLEASE LORD LET ME DIE! I can’t do this anymore. I’m ready to pull the damn trigger and

1

Just Jump already!

October 22nd, 2014by wideawake2012

I’m done with this.

2

Still Here

October 22nd, 2014by JustLauren

Hello everyone.

Yes, I’m still here.

I was about to do it but called a very important person to say goodbye. Someone I love very much. Someone I had once but do no longer.  They told me that they couldn’t be with me if I was gone. So with that little bit of hope, I put the bottle away. I still have my suicide date set for the day after Thanksgiving (how ironic), but for now, I’m hanging in there.

Thank you to everyone who answered my last post. It meant a lot to me.

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Man under a train

October 22nd, 2014by pinkcoconut

Today before getting on the tube, I saw two fire engines and a police car pull up and go downstairs. I thought there might be a fire. Another blank police car turned up. Then a couple more fire engines. They took a stretcher down. Eventually an ambulance came too. I tried to go downstairs but it was closed.

I went to get the bus and said I wondered what had happened. He said that there was a man under the train. He didn’t know if he was dead. He was under his carriage.

I said I hoped that the person I was talking to was ok. …

2

The factory crashes and the building is dust

October 22nd, 2014by factory4

what is a permalink? it appeared out of nowhere i did not put it there… hello how are you doing? i hope you are alright. i thought about this place now because i am going to put an end on it and i would like someone to know it i want to say it i want to say it to someone who is not going to lock me up and say i am crazy i know i am insane i’ve had enough i am not even distressed i know what i should do and i am calm i already told my mom i am going …

2

i hate my life

October 22nd, 2014by hate my life

I really hate my life, i have a very bad disease called “Proximal Myopathy”  since i was 10, i am 20 years old mle,  i want to commit suicide but…. i am coward. My life sucks, i cry alot everyday, because my body cannot move properly, i have been praying to God , but no response from God! Plz tell me whether there is an easy way to commit suicide?

4

Begging

October 22nd, 2014by California_Baby18

Maybe its just me begging for attention. But people don’t care about me. And the sad thing is.. They lie about it… They hardly bother to even check with me. To see if I’m okay… There goes our Relationship. Thank you for skrewing it up. But I guess that’s what I get for trusting a Lier/Thief.. They told me about you yet they’re befriending .. They’re gonna get hurt.

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hello im new here

October 22nd, 2014by yes im blue

first time on here im a 17 year old guy about to fail high school with depression and a suicide attempt i used to cut and i saw some lose the battle but im still going, but im getting weak and i dont think if i fall one more time i will be able to get up. im alone in this world and i want to leave it.

3

Exhaustion…

October 22nd, 2014by NowhereToGo

Ever since I was a little girl, I’ve always felt alone. Even though I grew up around a loving family, had siblings, cousins and friends, I still felt absolutely alone. I have always had this yearning to belong, to feel loved and to feel connected to someone or something.

I’ve always kept a diary and I use that to vent my frustrations or to release anything that I thought about obsessively. Now, at 28 I feel more alone than ever before. I truly feel like no one cares about me. Throughout my life, I’ve cried so many times and have felt so much unexplainable hurt and …

2

The Conundrum

October 22nd, 2014by allout

I’m 46.  I’ve lived half of my life already.  I’ve been reading through some of the posts, getting an idea of the thoughts – no surprises really.  I have been in the place I am now for about 9 months, and off and on over the last 31+ years.  That’s a long time to carry burdens.

I do have grown children.  Children. The big debate.  I did read a post from someone left behind who in an obvious state of anger blamed the departed for leaving them behind selfishly.  I have to say there is absolutely no way to assure those that will be left behind …