May 31st, 2012by elenam7
I was having one of those moments where you decide, “this is fucking it, I’m gonna turn my life around.” Â That did not last long, but I do have one reminder of it in the form of the word “survive” tacked onto my wall. Â I feel like it should hearten me but it doesn’t; it just reminds me of how impossible that’s becoming for me. Â I don’t want to live but I’m scared of death, of the pain involved. Â The thought of getting up and going about my day tomorrow just makes me fucking sick. Â I feel so trapped and I don’t know what to do anymore. Â I just hate almost everyone in my life right now. Â Not one of them could take the time to notice that I’m fucking dying here.