I saw your first post. I know you miss him, and you must miss him more than a lot of people would. Being suicidal, you have much more pain than some people… and he helped. So it’s understandable that you miss him so much. But you can get past it. You’ll find other ways to make yourself feel better, and that’s when it’ll stop hurting so much. I know it’s not that easy, but it can happen over time. X
@GoldIsntInfinite, I also just read your first post. I don’t know if this will help and it’s a little long, but I’m going to give it a shot.
Back in college, I started hanging out with a girl that I came to really like. We were just friends, but I eventually wanted it to be more than that. When Spring Break came, I couldn’t wait to get back to school to see her again. And what was the first thing she said when she saw me? ” I MET THIS GUY! ”
The semester pretty much went downhill from that point. It eventually got to where I almost attempted suicide twice in a week. The second time I had a hypodermic needle in my arm, planning to inject an air bubble into my system. I ended up not doing it because I realized I didn’t want to die, just for the pain to stop. That’s kind of a cliche around here now, but it’s not the important part.
The big challenge was how I was going to get through the next few months, esp. a summer of not seeing her much (& when I did, knowing things were going to be weird).
What helped me get through? It finally hit me that my brain was LYING to me – it kept telling me that I loved being around her and couldn’t live without her. Bullsh*t! I was 23 when I met her, so that meant that I HAD been able to live for 23 years without her. Maybe those years weren’t as great as the few months when I knew her, but there were some pretty good times scattered throughout those years. You may not *want* to live without this guy, but the fact is that you did before you met him.
A postscript to this story is that I in fact did meet a girl a couple years later that I liked even better. That relationship didn’t work out because she was mainly focused on her studies & career (& I don’t think I was really the best guy for her), but the point is there was someone else out there.
I know there are more guys out there who will treat you well and with RESPECT, just like this other guy did. I can’t guarantee if/when you will meet them, but I’m positive they’re there.
I hope you won’t give up the search and hope you can at least can past this heartbreak.
5 comments
I hear you. I wish humans came with a built-in self-destruct button. Or at least an easily accessible power switch, so I could just turn off.
lol. If we came with a self-destruct button, none of us would survive our teens.
I saw your first post. I know you miss him, and you must miss him more than a lot of people would. Being suicidal, you have much more pain than some people… and he helped. So it’s understandable that you miss him so much. But you can get past it. You’ll find other ways to make yourself feel better, and that’s when it’ll stop hurting so much. I know it’s not that easy, but it can happen over time. X
@GoldIsntInfinite, I also just read your first post. I don’t know if this will help and it’s a little long, but I’m going to give it a shot.
Back in college, I started hanging out with a girl that I came to really like. We were just friends, but I eventually wanted it to be more than that. When Spring Break came, I couldn’t wait to get back to school to see her again. And what was the first thing she said when she saw me? ” I MET THIS GUY! ”
The semester pretty much went downhill from that point. It eventually got to where I almost attempted suicide twice in a week. The second time I had a hypodermic needle in my arm, planning to inject an air bubble into my system. I ended up not doing it because I realized I didn’t want to die, just for the pain to stop. That’s kind of a cliche around here now, but it’s not the important part.
The big challenge was how I was going to get through the next few months, esp. a summer of not seeing her much (& when I did, knowing things were going to be weird).
What helped me get through? It finally hit me that my brain was LYING to me – it kept telling me that I loved being around her and couldn’t live without her. Bullsh*t! I was 23 when I met her, so that meant that I HAD been able to live for 23 years without her. Maybe those years weren’t as great as the few months when I knew her, but there were some pretty good times scattered throughout those years. You may not *want* to live without this guy, but the fact is that you did before you met him.
A postscript to this story is that I in fact did meet a girl a couple years later that I liked even better. That relationship didn’t work out because she was mainly focused on her studies & career (& I don’t think I was really the best guy for her), but the point is there was someone else out there.
I know there are more guys out there who will treat you well and with RESPECT, just like this other guy did. I can’t guarantee if/when you will meet them, but I’m positive they’re there.
I hope you won’t give up the search and hope you can at least can past this heartbreak.
(sorry, make that “… can GET past…”