I’ve planned out suicides as it’s obvious what happen since I’m still here. I really don’t care what I’m leaving behind at this point. However, every time I attempt, I can’t finish it. My question is do people who actually complete it have a higher pain threshold and/or a disorder that allows them to complete the ‘mission’? For the sake of me, when I put that bag over my head I have to stop because it gets too hot and I can’t take it anymore. I think short of a gun it’s too hard for most attempters to accomplish. I would jump off a building but there aren’t high enough buildings. I didn’t want it to be public but I’m getting desperate. I wanted to reduce the pain of doing it but I realized mainly the lethal methods like train, building jumps, gun are actually successful since are natural instinct to survive is bypassed. I have a lot trains by my house but they are really slow so not sure it would work well and it doesn’t help that they won’t shut up and I hear them all day. I can’t even hang myself because people constantly knocking on my door no damn privacy to kill myself. My most recent attempt, I had to get off the rope hanging to open my room door because my sis wanted to use my car. Wtf always being interrupted. The opportunity never is right to do it. I would like a cyanide kiosk dispersed like Redbox. I’m on a tangent, but why is it that some people can continue with suicide yet others stop from a purely physical perspective? Super strong drugs maybe? I read a story about a person who hanged themself with a shoelace. Maybe I’m thinking too much and should let my impulse takeover.
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5 comments
Yeah, thats because you don’t really want to die, just a bit. The thing is that when you are demoralized and have weak will like most people with psychological problems, then even killing yourself seems hard. One could train strong dedication on this if it wouldn’t be for the last time…
I like your posts ”icontrolmydestiny”
personally, I think you should go to a forest nearby you, that’s where I decided to do it. look for the largest forest (measured by hectares) online and then go and visit it. where do you live? and if there is no forests next to you, then perhaps you should take a road trip and go to the nearest national park. If THAT doesn’t work. then rent a room for a day, there are places like that where you can rent for the night only. Check if there is a rod or door knob for that and rent it for the night, making sure it is in the suburbs and away from urban areas.
I think the impulse to do it can be very individual-based. but there are many people with weak-wills that still successfully manage to do it. sooner or later, the days will seem long and tedious to you and you will go through it. Maybe your unconscious is thinking, ah what if this method isn’t successful, then make sure the unconscious is fully aware of the situation and its success is 99 percent.
I read your post. I only see excuses for not going ahead with it. That’s not a bad thing, on the contrary is very good. The most violent attempts usually bring the most certain results. That’s for sure. A gun, fly of a building and a train. You can’t survive these. Can’t stop a bullet, can’t fly, can’t stop a train. Pills and bags may look more peaceful but like you said you can’t be sure about the results.
Unfortunately as you say violent acts to commit suicide are very successful at achieving the result but these still have a percentage of not ending your life completely and ending up a vegetable for the rest of your days. Really no one knows for certain if the method we use will end our life’s 100% but all we can do is investigate as much as we can and if there’s no going back succeed or suffer for our ignorance of knowledge.
I assume the not actually being able to go threw all the way is mostly something that is worked threw with time and repeated attempts…. I mostly assume this as I commonly cause myself harm, I do damage to my body in ways that I used to never be able to imagine somebody being able to, and yet during my first several attempts to damage myself I was completely unable to acomplish anything, however with more exposure and just getting more comfortable with the idea and eventually more comfortable with the act I just kept going farther and farther…. I assume the same thing would go with suicide, and have some evidence to support that too…. So I generally assume that most people who end up killing themselves have toyed around with the idea and probably even attempted before or at least played with the idea (like maybe got all the supplies together but never really tried, or maybe tried to try) and eventually got more comfortable with it…. Which that’s why it really distresses me when people have failed attempts or something like that, as I worry that they are growing more comfortable with killing themselves…. I would much rather people just stay uncomfortable with that. :/