I hate it when I burst out crying like fuck!!! control yourself you fucking idiot.
You son of a ***** ill fucking kill you I cant believe your still alive.. you think this is a diary you can keep track of. theres no one here as always and that’s the way it will always be. There will be no one waiting as you sit by the water and cry……
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I’m actually somewhat surprised by the bit you posted that I’m assuming is something you are saying to yourself…. It looks a lot like something I would say to myself. I personally like crying though, it’s something that I normally find myself completely unable to do…. I would recommend trying to enjoy it if you can…. The few times I’ve managed to cry felt really nice, well afterwards at least.
Crying does feel pretty good. Minus the throat constricting part. You’re letting everything out that was bottled up for a while.
But in my experience, it only feels good when you’re alone, and have no one around to see it happen.
This one time, my grandmother laid into me for being too pathetic and depressed to get out of bed, and when I tried to explain to her what was going on in my head, I bursted into tears. I remember that I shouted ****at myself**** out loud. “STOP CRYING, YOU IDIOT!” And I startled her. It was incredibly embarrassing. Usually I’m able to keep that kind of thing from slipping out of my mouth.
What do you mean when you say that you’re sitting by the water? What water?
Oh that does sound a bit bad…. I’ve never managed to cry around anybody else…. I’ve been told mixed things about it, some people have told me it feels best to cry with somebody else, and others say it’s best alone. I’ve only ever done it alone, and sadly not that often :/ However the people that say with other people may mean that the other person is crying too, not sure. -_- Yeah I’m also curious about the water now too…. I initially pictured it as a little brook that was making rather pleasant sounds. I’m in a tranquil type of mood for my imagery today. -_-