I see myself as a noone, a little ***** and as someone who cannot control themself in the most simplest situations. My family has given me everything that I have ever wished from them yet I cannot repay the favor because I am an ungrateful asshat. I complain over everything and I see myself as a pure idiot. I fear everything, I cannot go outside because of a previous experience. I scare everything and even death itself. I cannot, AND CANNOT even try to kill myself because I am not sure how good of a place it is after dead. Will I go to hell? Is it a suffering cycle? This all confuses me every time and I cannot decide how to go on in life.
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Well I feel the same, I’m choosing to stick around because I’ve heard the war continues on the other side. Which fucking sucks if that’s true. I know I have bad karma that I need to resolve first. But I just continue to rot and see nothing forward in my life. You’re in control, atleast don’t forget that part, I do.