I am so TIRED of FM, I want my life back

  January 3rd, 2009 by maderd

Hi There, first time here.

When I was roaming this site I saw the suicide tab, and went to it. ‘Cause that is how I feel.

I am tired of this PAIN.

My ears – has a fax machine inside, God that noise, argh.

I feel useless, for my kids, my financials will not get better, no bonuses, no annual increase, no over time pay, etc.

I have to now sell my house for two reasons:
1) My parents have been subsiding the finances, but a lot more since I have been off work, (Dec 06) and they do not believe what is going on with me, so they do not want to help financially anymore.
2) There are for too many stairs in this townhouse, I just can’t stand it any more!!!!
So all in all, the house is still on the market, now with economy as it is, I might not be able to sell at all, or definately having to reduce the price.

Where am I going to live …… in a dump, in an apartment building, yep, sounds good, only one level, but I haven’t lived in an apartment for over 25 years.

I feel that this is my life, nothing is going to get better, neither financially or health wise.

I am 45 years old, so what, 20 or more years of this …….. I don’t think so …… no way ….

I am not married but do have a boyfriend, he is so very helpful and somewhat encouraging, how long until he gets tired of all this, ME ……

I am afraid of what has yet to come, medically for sure, pain still around, for my kids …..

I know my job was very mentally challenging, not a nice place (people) to work, but I enjoyed it, I felt needed and self satisfied. But gone now due to FM

oh my godness, blah blah WHat comes next!

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