I can understand the overthinking. I do not know which is worse, the depression or the mania. If I could harvest just a bit of mania to use “in case of emergency”, that would be great. I am so depressed at times I cannot leave my room. I have rationalized higher power away through my overclocked brain. I don’t need preachers to tell me “because the Bible says it’s so”. I don’t need shrinks asking me “how does that make you feel?” I feel like sh*t, get away from me. I need to be fixed, I need to feel normal.