Why suicide is a lousy idea (most of the time)!

Before I get flamed as one of those “goody two shoes”, this is not going to be a post about why suicide is morally wrong, or trying to convert you to any religion.  I am an agnostic, and I really don’t believe in forcing my morality on anyone.

I think suicide is justified in some cases: if I were to have a terminal illness, and I would be enduring a lot of pain until I die, I would consider an assisted suicide as an option.  However, when it comes to emotional pain, I think suicide is not a great option, and here’s why:

(1) We are animals, with a built in reflex not to kill ourselves:  Since we evolved from the animals, we have a complex midbrain that will try its best to ensure our survival, even when the more cognitive front part of the brain has decided to do so.  Getting past your midbrain is the reason why only some 5 – 15% of all suicide attempts are successful.  Most people, when they finally come to the point where they need to pull the trigger or jump onto the track, are overcome by such anxiety caused by your midbrain sending adrenalin into your body that they break down before committing the act.  If you try passive means such as taking pills, your body will most likely do all it can to reject those pills (I know, I puked up all of mine in my suicide attempt).  So even if you try to attempt suicide, know that you have an 85 – 95% chance of failing at it for this reason.

(2) We are social animals:  Our ancestors were tree dwelling primates, and evolved 3D vision to enable them to jump between trees.  The problem with 3D vision is that your eyes need to be in front of your head, not at the sides, so you don’t have as much ability to look out for predators on your own.  That’s why most primates evolved a social system where a tribe of primates look out for each other.  This primal instinct to look after our own still remains with us, and that is why most moral systems in the world frown upon suicide.  When you try and commit suicide, people around you are going to try and prevent you doing so because of this instinct. 

(3) Emotional pain is temporary, and does not kill you:  Unless you are very old, emotional pain, though it feels unbearable, will not kill you.  And most emotional pain is temporary if you take steps to work at, along with medication if there is a chemical imbalance causing the pain.  Sure it takes long, usually several months or even years, but emotional pain does pass.

Given these 3 facts, you have a choice:  You can either continue the path of thinking suicide is an option, and make yourself miserable each time you fail at it, and have society increasingly controlling your life each time you make an attempt.  I know people in this space, and I can say their lives are miserable.  I was in this space for a while as well (and made two suicide attempts, the last one landing me in a psychiatric facility for three weeks).

Alternatively, you can decide that attempting suicide is a lousy option as a cure to emotional pain, and try other options.  This is what happened to me:  I realised that if I tried to commit suicide again, and failed, I would most likely land up in permanent psychiatric care or on the streets.  I decided then that it is actually easier to work on my emotional issues, and embrace my internal instinct to survive and society’s primal instinct to ensure that people do not harm themselves.  Strangely, once I adopted this attitude a lot of my life started to come right.  I no longer lived for other people, or worried too much what other people thought.  I started living for myself, making my own meaning.  If problems arise, I tell myself I can survive them, and try my best to solve them.  If I can’t I just accept them and move on. Life is difficult, but part of its meaning comes from the difficulties and how you choose to handle them.