I’ve thought about taking enough sleeping pills (OTC) to end it all. My desire to live is decreasing. I’m taking my meds. But I still have the thoughts.
Tag:
Taking Pills
no, I dont cut. No, I wasnt abused. I’m sorry if you have been.
In 5th grade I started taking pills (amphetamine) and some for sleeping. I started getting really skinny, never eating, never hungry. I turned pale and gaunt, my parents thought I was anorexic. I couldnt explain to them that I just wasnt hungry (a side effect of amphetamine) so I lied. A lot. “yea I ate a sandwich when you were gone.” I hadnt. Ya this wasnt bad, i was a pretty happy kid, just really skinny. Then 6th grade rolled around and i weighed around 60 lb for the first half of […]
I still have nothing.
I have everything that I could ever want, but it means absolutely nothing. No matter how good things get, I still feel empty. I don’t think anyone could ever fill me up all the way; I don’t think it’s possible. I still try to fix myself. We bought an expensive ring, put it on my finger, and I was happy for a month. I tell myself that I’m happy over and over and over again, but it doesn’t change a thing. What if I changed everything? I could call off the wedding, start over again, and… and what? I don’t think I’d […]
I loved my brother so much but he won’t come back and it was my fault. Since I was such a kid I was always alone, I hadn’t any friends, what a shame for a kid.. then I grow up and things didn’t change. I have a really big anxiety and I can’t help it, I’m even taking pills but I can’t say a word at school, people laugh of me, they hate me. I feel so much pain. However at least my brother was always with me, by my side…as a real friend. He meant everything to me. 7 months ago he died of […]
I’ve come to the realization that living with these suicidal thoughts will probably never go away. This is my first time trying out an online community for suicide/depression or what have you because I feel I am running out of options. I feel I have no one who I can talk to in my life about these issues due to the deep shame that comes with them. Even though I feel I have a good support system, I don’t like feeling like I’m burdening those I love with all this I go through on a daily basis.
Getting to the point, I’ve realized that I am too scared to actually […]
Depression…It can come to anyone but that doesn’t mean it comes to everyone. It doesn’t just HAPPEN like that either. If you’re depressed, there’s a reason to it and it’s not something silly or stupid, it’s actually quite serious.
Right?
So that means all the people telling me that I’m looking for attention are wrong, and that something has happened within my lifespan to cause depression in my life. I’m not being an a**hole, attention-seeking or anything. I’m actually depressed.
But then there’s no cure to this. No-one to talk to around me, those whom I CAN talk to are far away, nad many people […]
I started playing video games once again, started planning out some music to record and quit reading these posts. Reading misfortune can get you down big time. I stopped taking pills and my Seizures are getting a little better. Find that release that gets you through tough days.
There is someone who bullies me. Someone who teases and taunts and tortures me. That bully is me.
No matter what I do, I notice a flaw in me. I’m stupid, ugly, fat, and friendless. No one listens to me. I doubt my parents even care about me. Whenever I try talking to them, they don’t even bother to understand my problems. I can’t talk to my brother. He has autism and wouldn’t understand anything. My ‘friends’ are fake, as fake as a Barbie doll. No matter how hard I try in school, there are always people who do better than me. I hate comparing myself […]
Someone I’ve loved since the moment I’ve ever talked to them is slipping away. The sad part is I’m letting him. I can’t do anything about him not loving me anymore. I’ve fought for him for 9 months, if not more. I’m done. I can’t keep waiting on him to realize if I’m what he wants or not. I haven’t talked to him since Thursday. He says he cares and would do anything for me but I just don’t know anymore. I don’t know if it was love or lust. Maybe neither Maybe all of it was just a big joke, but I just can’t take it anymore. The […]
The love of my life lives in Kansas….I live in North Carolina. We have been off and on for almost a year now. We got back together about 2 months ago then he broke up with me. I fell back into cutting and pills. He swore he didn’t like anyone else, it was just the distance. He asked out my best friend 2 days after he told me that. I want to fucking hate him so much….but I can’t. He doesn’t know I know. I promised him I wouldn’t cut or get high…..yet my arm is filled with new scars and my pill bottles are […]
No one has noticed.
No one has noticed I spend all my time and money now getting drunk these days.
That’s all I want to do.
I just want everything to go away, And to be able to enjoy things and have fun and laugh.
Alcohol helps. But at the end of the day I still end up in my bedroom, Taking pills or drinking or just curled up in bed crying and listening to Radiohead and REM.
I’m such a waste of life.
Seriously, I am actually not good for anything.
I’v abandoned myself really. I just can’t do anything alone or without some […]
i am, its true. you are ALWAYS here for me, when im to fucked, to even think. promise after promise i make to u saying i will not attempt suicide, i will quit cutting, and in a week i will stop taking pills for the hell of it. honestly, im sorry, idk why i make promises i cant keep. i try but my mind out rules me. everytime. im terrified, i dont deserve a friend as AMAZING as u, im scared u will finally understand that, and leave. im still ALWAYS and FOREVER will be here for u. u can tell me ANYTHING. but again […]
I’ve been dealing with depression for over 2 yrs. now. And I’ve attempted suicide multiple times from taking pills to OD, to crashing my car. I used to cut all the time when I got really upset. I told my “2nd mom” about all this and she was really worried one day I told her I wanted to die. And me her and her daughter (my ex) went to a hospital for me to get help I took a couple classes and hated it, it wasn’t helping so I left. I went on medication for my depression doctors not knowing I was suicidal. I still […]
I can’t do anything at this point. I get drunk all the time, as often as I can. I take advantage of other people. People I’m supposed to care about. I owe people a bunch of money. I’m living off my family. I can’t hold a job, I don’t have any friends, and I don’t care about people who care about me. I want it to stop. I want to stop being me, I want to stop thinking about all of my problems, I want to stop contemplating suicide and just do it. I thought about it all the time when I was 14, I […]
Hey my names Jasiel and I’m 12 years old. This is going to take me a lot of guts because I haven’t told anyone about my problem…it all started when I was 9, I was a happy little girl just walking by her self like always, the day was pretty and perfect. Until…all of a sudden everything changed to black. I wasn’t scared because I was used to the dark. But then something got my intention, it was just laying there hopelessly without any movement. It looked familiar and so I walked towards it, I turn it around so I […]
ok well on friday i got kicked out of school im 13 i went home and i started taking pills and some girl in my class told the teacher and they called the police but my friends came affter school and made sure i was ok and now im ashamed to got o school and i think my parents are going to send me away ive gone to a hospital a couple times and im on some list and i truly feel like i can trust nobody except my one friend but to night im going to try again and make sure no […]
I can’t get it out of my head. I don’t know what to do. I should be a functioning college student but all I can think about is death. My death. Images, thoughts, impulses, plans…attempt…and I just can’t get it to go away. taking pills didn’t even make it go away, it just made my life more miserable than ever plus this overhanging feeling that I SHOULD have died so why on earth am I STILL here??? I want to get out and I don’t know how other than a shotgun to the head. I need out. […]
Hi guys
ill try and make this short.i have being feeling like committing suicide for the last 2 years. i badly want too but i guess i’m scared of hurting my family, i don’t want to hurt them i’m not saying i’ve got great relationship with my family but i do obviously care deeply about them.. I’m very sad and i must suffer from depression,, i don’t cut myself or anything. I feel so sad everyday i get up is terrible everything is a constant struggle… I do feel for so many people that have posted on this site.. I have a […]
im alone. i want to be alone all the time now for reasons i do not know. i want a new life, one where i can start over. i want to end it all, more than anything. i dont think there is help for me out there. the fact is i dont want help. all the help theyre going to give me is pills. im tired of taking pills to make me happy. i should be able to be happy without taking any kind of pills. im uncommonly depressed. my friend and family stay away from me. they act as if i have some contagious […]
((sorry that this is song long… p.s i hav the tendency to write “have” as “hav” and “back” as “bac” and “you” as “yu”))
I’m new to this site. The fact that I found it by accident or fate I hav no clue yet. I might as well start writing because it seems that it does help at least from what friends hav told me to do. I’m taking their advice to figure things out and try to help myself through things that I do go through and think negatively about.
Where to begin… well I hav tried to commit suicide before by cutting and taking […]
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