So my younger brother who i was very close to passed away in 2008 from an accidental overdose, i never had the chance to deal with his death because everyone told me i need to be strong for my mom. Since then i closed myself off from people only showing them what they wanted to see not what i was really feeling.
I met a guy shortly after and we had an instant connection and before a month we were living to gether. His the only person who’d seen me cry, after 3 weeks he packed his stuff while i was at work and moved back to his home town without telling me, it was a major surprise when i got home and i had to phone his mom to find this out. I immidiatly dialled my brothers number and then realised his not here to comfort me anymore which only made things worse.
It’s been 2 days and i have not eaten or slept. i feel so used and betrayed and the one person i always turned to is dead. All i wanna do is end it all, take the pain away for good, go be with my brother. I don’t see why i should live through this hurt and anger and everything else. He took the little bit of me i had left after loosing my brother and now i’m empty. There is no point in carring on. I’ve been thinking of how i’ll do it probably not wrists if they find me in time it will only leave scars maybe pills no one will realise and by the time they do it’ll be to late.