i wanna die, dear peoples.
i’ve been abused emotionally and physically by my brother whom now i didn’t consider him as part of my siblings anymore.
i’ve lost my beloved and loving father in 2006. and i felt like he took away my happiness with him too.
i hate seeing my mother keep back ups that bloody brother even though he didn’t finish his studies and now he still unemployed and he’s staying with my mother’s money!
i feel like i wanna shoot him!
i feel like i wanna kill him right now!
i wanna see him die!
my bf also just left me.
i’m alone and i hate life.
life is so unfair.
i just think to suicide only.
there’s lot of little scars on my hand made by scissors.
i’ve ‘bang’ my head to the wall for many times.
overdosed for many times.
i wanna die.
really.
and that’s for sure.
6 comments
I was just wondering how old you are. Are you dependent on your mother? I’m sorry you are in so much pain.
i just hate seeing my mother getting pale and sick day by day especially after my father passed away.
that useless man a.k.a the brother whom i hate so much, really troubled us so much since he was born.
i’m still studying and now i’ve postponed my studies because i have no interest at all in everything i do. the only thing exist in my mind only ‘die’.
how do you mean your brother “physically” abuse you? be more specific.
As per suicide, I dont see you are the one who has to do it. He is the bastard, he pays, but not you! Killing him is also not a good idea because there are stupid laws that put you into jail, etc but you can fuck him up (if he so deserves) in many different ways, for years and years.
So, basically this is the attitude you have to have, revenge and make others pay, but not still do more harm to you when others have done it on you already!
physically abused me?
ok. i’ll explain how hard my childhood days.
that ‘brother’ threatened me and my beloved father with the knife, hockey stick and etc. he kicked me, punched me many times.
plus, until now i still in trauma.
why i said i wanna suicide? just because i hate myself! i hate myself for being this unlucky, born here.
Hey,
I’m sorry you’ve been hurt so badly. I’m so so sorry. It breaks my heart for you. I hate to feel helpless and hopeless and to hurt so much. I hate that you feel that way. I understand why you are so mad at your brother. I would be mad at him to for beating me and taking advantage of my mother. You have been through a lot! You have fought many battles in your life. You must be tired. I know I am.
Please know that there is no one like you. You are the only you in all creation! You are special. You are unique. You are not a problem, but a gift.
Hello, my alias is Phoung. It is apleasure to meet you. At the of mycomment I will leave you my email. I want you to come and talk to me. Your words have more to say. I know it. I will not judge you nor will i condenced you nor will i tell you what is wrong or not. it is us to you whether or not you want to take in and think about what i have told you or you can totally believe that this is all bullshit. Its your choice.
all i have to tell you here are two things.
i would like to ask to you to reconsider things. Suicide is not foryou. Your time will come but do not end it so early. I know you are feeling hell like no other. I can only try to undertand only what you have to tell us. We can offer the best of our empathies but we will never know how bad you feel, because your pain is YOUR pain.
Also, i would like you to realize this. “Feeling Suicidal” and “Commiting to Suicide” are two very different things. As of right now you are feeling suicidal, here you can turn back at any point and turn all of this shit around. You can control this situation, if you want to. But in the act of commiting to suicide,you cannot turn back.
Furthermore, you will have died with no peace in mind, you will die in the hatred you harbored for everything. And your soul with have to carry on with the only thing it ever knew: unhappyness. Is this something you want? You are miserable now, doyou want to be miserable even in death? I encourage you to wait, till it is time for you to pass. By then, you will have survived everything and you can die wit th peace in mind andyour soul can live and rest in relief.
And lastly, why would you want to burden your mother? And leave her by herself with just your brother? i think you should live not only for yourself but need to live for you mother. She needs someone to be strong for her. This is something youshould consider.
Life is puttng you to the test. Do not be so overwhelemed. We are all hereto help you. Don’t forget that. There is hope and better days. I am willing to be by yourside and help you every step. I am willing to listen to everything you have to say. But only if youwant me too. Remember, you always have a choice. They will not be so easy to make.
silly.snowball@yahoo.com