I wish  i was able to just give into the feeling’s and what i want to actually do, I’m not scared of death..I dont actually know whats stopping me? I’ve come to realize that drinking is only good if you dont let yourself come down from the buzz. I felt so alive and better last night when i was partying, i put on a pretty good front i make everyone laugh you barely ever see me without a smile on my face, if only my friend knew the real me, the one that came home last night and cut for an hour and a half last night destroying every part of my body i didnt like. I think everyone would be blown away if i ever killed myself because they just wouldnt understand, they think i live the perfect life, the happy class clown..hmm if they only knew.
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a lot of people are living a double life like this, it’s called dramaturgy.
so just don’t be like the world. there’s nothing worth it about it anyway, it’s all a delusion. please, read my post here: http://suicideproject.org/2009/12/please-read-this/
God is what’s stopping you, when you want to just give into your feelings and actually do what you want to do. God doesn’t want you to die, or to kill yourself. please listen to Him, because He wants good things for you, and He’s fully able to do anything, and to turn your life around too. He turned around mine.
“behind the mask, you’ll find yourself alone” – underoath
I do not belive in god, so please don’t preach to me about him
haha kari. : )
anyways, if you wanna talk to me, send me an email and we can talk about anything you want to. (silly.snowball@yahoo.com)