December 5th, 2009 by kari

I wish  i was able to just give into the feeling’s and what i want to actually do, I’m not scared of death..I dont actually know whats stopping me? I’ve come to realize that drinking is only good if you dont let yourself come down from the buzz. I felt so alive and better last night when i was partying, i put on a pretty good front i make everyone laugh you barely ever see me without a smile on my face, if only my friend knew the real me, the one that came home last night and cut for an hour and a half last night destroying every part of my body i didnt like. I think everyone would be blown away if i ever killed myself because they just wouldnt understand, they think i live the perfect life, the happy class clown..hmm if they only knew.

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