Look. I’m one screwed up almost-adult. In 14 days I will officially be in my twenties. I’ve had a sucky life and I’m not here to complain or rant about how my om did this and my dad did that but I’m writing this because I need someone to understand. Someone to talk to me. I need a friend. I don’t want to die.. well, this second anyway. ButÂ usually do. My only best friend in the world wants to send me away. She doesn’t even understand and she always yells and gets angry. I need someone I can talk to who wants to listen. Not someone who feels they have too.
Sure, I’ve been in your footprints before. I’ve been abused, and teased, my brother died on me, and my parents are not the best. But I try to get passed that, however, I can’t. I cut myself aÂ lot. I know it’s ‘bad’ but it’s the only way to feel. You know, I’d love to wlak around with my cuts and scars hanging out so people know how I feel. I’ve tried to stop and I can go months without it but I always start again. I know it makes people defensive but that’s my way to express myself.
I know I need help but I can’t seem to find it anywhere. I know I probably should see a therapist and to be honest I’d love to except for the fact that my parents won’t put me on thier insurance. Sucks for me again. I need help. Please. I don’t want to die. But I’m alone. Completely. I need someone to relate. Please help me.
I am there too. I am looking at the same fate. At least, I feel I am looking at the same fate. I don’t cut, but I occasionally smoke, which comes in waves whenever I am more stressed out than not. But I am trying to quit. I’d rather quit life. I am having such a terrible time trying to figure out what to do with myself. I may go teach abroad, get out of America for a while, and see if that works…right now I hate everyone. I find most people to be inconsiderate and lame.
I love you. I haven’t met you But I have a feeling that if we did we would be good friends. I’m 23 and in the past year I’ve attempted 3 times and checked myself into a hospital 4 times. Today I was sucessful in not cutting myself again, though in the grip of suicide I did bite myself for a physical release (it helped). I didn’t have insureance, and I was really scared the first time I went into the hospital.
I know how you feel about the cutting. People tell you it’s stupid and pointless, but, it helps. They just don’t understand how it is to feel so helpless, like everyones weight is on you. Like your body just goes into these feelings like you don’t feel like you’re there. Then you cut, people yell. I’m sick of people not knowing, it’s not fair? I thought people knowing how it felt would make me feel better. But they just judge you. It’s a lose lose situation? I don’t know.
Sorry, I just needed to vent..
i can totally relate. believe me.
why dont you apply for your state’s medical assistance? Then you can start therapy and medication. Inorder to start feeling better, we also have to change our pessimistic ways, we have to start living life differently. Start a journal, write your feelings. Look for a depression meeting group in your area. I’ve been battling depression for 20 yrs and everyday is a challange but this yr will be different because my kids deserve to have me around. You need to find reasons to keep you in this world- no matter how bad it seems. Do you believe in God? I have found immense faith and hope in Him.
Email me at firstname.lastname@example.org.
I’ll listen to you, and I’ll talk back , I promise.
we all got ur back!!! we understand and get it and know and all that!!! im here hit me up if u ever want to even if its just to say what u did today!!! 🙂