Went to the shrink today…

Well, more like two sessions, answered a thousand questions. The verdict? I have severe depression, general anxiety disorder, and border personality disorder. Cute. I had a therapist, prior, through the county to which I live that did not wish to give me the test because he doesn’t like boxing anyone into anything. Sound advice. For now I am straight-up more depressed than I was before. What hasn’t changed is my time-bomb mentality. Life is just one extraordinary shitty event away from me to losing control and taking my own life. I am getting older in age and I do not care so much anymore. So many people I know covet worldly devices. Yet they tell me not to care about what other people think, and at the same time call suicide selfish. I want a beautiful suicide. I have come to the realization that it can be very personal and beautiful. I have. It can. Why can’t it? Who says it can’t?