I have one desire. Death. It’s been a while since i’ve posted anything but I guess everything has been building up lately. To really sum it up. Life is shit. That’s my way of putting it…but if you have the time here are some of the details.
I’m pretty sick of everybody right now. Sick of my family putting me down and getting into my business. I just wish they would leave me alone or kick me out of the house…not likely though considering I just turned thirteen but hey, a kid can dream on right? I hope so, because I’ve been doing quite a bit of that lately. Dreaming. Dreaming about my beautiful death. My one desire. I’ve constantly been finding myself stuck in this routine. I’m constantly day dreaming about my death and thinking up how exactly i’ll kill myself. I will though, kill myself. I know that for sure. I can’t live with this desire much longer and i’m about to fall over the edge. I want to die though. I don’t exactly feel like it’s my only option, I feel like it’s the best option. I’d rather take the easy way out, i’m not ashamed of that. I’m weak, I know that well. I’m just so sick of it all. My family, friends…people I thought were my friends that is. Even people at my church, calling me names, talking behind my back, being bitches is their strongest talent. I’m sick of being jealous of the person I consider to be my best friend, she’s gorgeous and she has it all together. I hate that. I’m quickly falling to pieces and she’s got a new boyfriend every week. I don’t take anyones advice anymore because I no longer trust anyone. I’m sick of trusting people only to be let down. I’m sick and tired of it all. I’m done listening to the things people say about me. I’m not going to waste my time and energy blocking it from my mind, i’d much rather just take my life. I’m not scared. I’m not scared of surviving and having brain damage or anything due to overdose. I’m not scared of surviving and being paralyzed due to allowing myself to be hit by a car. I’m not sorry for whoever would hit me with that car either. I’m not scared of stabbing myself or putting a gun to my cheast. The whole hit by a train thing however I refuse to do.
I’m sick of typing so i’m just gonna stop right here. comment if you’d like.