my dear old friend is cancer ridden
some visible yet others hidden
his presence scares me
hemakes me wary
a lasting friendship seems forbidden
unable to do much in agony
he cannot pay for therapy
this friend, he’s so kind
he deserves to unwind
but his mother remains his enemy
my friend has now lost his friendlyy glow
and the sight of him fills me with woe
he’s such a good friend
why must this end?
Just the thought of his death is my foe
now my skin is cold, my lips are blue
the bottle lays empty, cap unscrewed
he shouldn’t have gone
now it won’t be long
till I am gone, oh what did I do?
I look away the pains for relief
my life is over I’ve made it brief
done to ease my pain
I lost instead of gained
this is proof that love only causes grief
72 comments
Very nice
It was supposed to be for school origionally. Writine one limerick was the assignment.
I am a manifestation of your own projected situation, I crawl through that wormhole to say hi dropping a few ashes along the way, neither here nor there, I uprooted the cubicle and tossed it in the air your face lit up as your nostriles flared but back into your wormhole to gripe about those stuck in the books, lying politicians call em crooks, they’re overly-flatulent they wouldn’t till the garden so I’m the match you sent. I saw into your brains and pulled a sledge, not evena speck of glitter left to dredge, can’t blame a subway for your funds hedge, but I rode the edge until I split into peace with a broken lease, you put the shitt in bullshitt and couldn’t come more ill-equipped for this catastrophe, saturate us all as you stagnate before a pre-pride reduction fall late for the candy season, JP Morgan and Stanley couldn’t stand me reason, why that is, took a collar out the biz but broken metaphor choatic order you have in store
If only I had stayed in school, that statement could have never been more true,
and everyone keeps telling me,
“Stop feeling sorry for yourself.” “Stop feeling sorry for yourself.”
But that never helped me become any more mentally healthy, they think they’re so wealthy,
and successful keeping me stealthy in this cesspool. I’ll be seeing you
want to laugh at my mental catastrophe?
It wont happen to you, just happen to me? You’re the next in line,
fish swim for a peaceful and fiery pacific rim, so its a hex in time and Slim,
it isn’t all gravy when you’re shady within, crying for the mountains to fall on you win,
family labels you a loser, unemployed and stupid-grinned boozer, trust that
for you the government doesn’t have any time,
they’ll frame you for something else but you just sniffed on the wrong line,
so don’t breathe on me wrong, because I’m tired of this time,
tired of my mind and I’m tired of this rhyme, saw my brother lose his last bolt and half of the time,
I wasn’t much different than you are now,
I still recall calling people like I am, wow, the sheep and the cow,
I notice your bliss but it’s ignorance how,
you’ll never know how empty your soul until it’s filled,
now your chances ran out seen much stronger fall down six feet beneath all the clowns now,
I stick to myself on a one-way ride to suicide, tendencies within not your figment not climbing any chimney,
just a victim of the sickest century yet witnessed the Mystery.
…That was a rhyme I wrote several months ago as it was dawning on me that suicide may be my only reasonable option. I have grown since then and am now just trying to have fun during my last days. Though, I may write a poem soon, which should be much more deep than that garbage I wrote several months back.
I think it’s nice. I like it. It’s raw an real. Not like that shit I hand in to my teacher.
Honestly I think that your poem is better. But I’ll be writing one soon, lately I can feel poetic inspiration sparking anew again. I may even record it along with another one I wrote several years back called Thunder & Rainbows, the best poem I’ve written yet. Hopefully this next one will give us both a challenge though. You should write one too.
Ok I’ll post it up next. I’ve already started one but then I stopped and started another. Now I have to finish both. Haha
Why die out of choice when your friend didn’t even have the choice dont you think that thats kinda sutpid?
Truth is he wasn’t just a friend. He was the guy I pretty much loved. I trusted him with everything an he truested me. He took my secrets to the grave with him. Literaly. Now I feel compleatly alone an abandoned by everyone else. When he ded things just fell apart.
I know love sometimes is like that but dont die for him or with him becuz he really wouldnt want that. Try to go someplaces act ass if hes always looking over you just believe that you will be okay because otherwise you would have killed yourself already.
If you really are depressed try yelling about it to no one in particualr or crying and just tell someone why it hurts. Maybe even someone on this blog.
I don’t know. My trust in others pretty much died with him. Bit his death is not the only reason I’m like this. Ther are other reasons too. I don’t know.
You need to start trusting again. For a while i blocked everyone from me i couldnt stand life. And i went to a hospital because of this horrible lyme condition. I went to the cancer section i saw these such sick people. I cried in my wheel chair. Then one day Kat came along and she was such a happy person. She had been blind for 3 years and was in a wheel chair for a month. She was like hey i nearly died but im alive so that is the greatest fact on earth and im going to continue to live. I think that you should not kill yourself for it doesnt mean he’ll be there but instead tie your life to his in a different way. Like do a cancer walk and visit the people who have cancer but want life and it will be hard at first but you need to let people in slowly like you’re doing right now. You have the chance to live and people with cancer dont. You cant always expect for people to constantly be ther but if you dont try youll never know, There is a saying that goes like this “Those who stand for nothing fall for anything” YOu should stand for the fact of life and that we all should live. i would be so sad if you died you seem like a great person and you just need someone to help pull you through.
Thanks for caring
I do care because a lot of people on this site are hopeless but ur not. You can get throught this i promise
How an u b so sure
Because i was suicidal for 2 years and made it. I slit my wrists and scut my throat but each time i made it. My dad killed himself and i cant stand to see u go. Im sure becuz i was in somewhat the same position and i mad it. I am sure becuz ur trying and someone like u deserves to live. I believe that youll make it becuz u have a reason to live.
I wasn’t aware of a reason. What reason? Sorry I’m just seriously not very lucid right now. But even if I was I still don’t thnkni can think of a reason good enoug to motivate me.
You are living for me. You are living for to show all those people that depression is beatable. You are living to see if maybe thing will get better. You are living to talk with people on this site. You are living to write poems. You are living to try and help other people with cancer riddled friends. You are living because this is not the worst life compared to some people on this site. You are living because other people have made it and so can you. You are living because not everyone has the optiion to live but you do. You are living to see new people and expierence new things. You are living becuase if you were the one that died of cancer and he killed himself for you would hate that and so would he if you died for him. You are living for yourself
Some recent writing:
I remember getting beat
filling up on mac & cheese
hopped on our bicycles and scream as we rode through these streets
didn’t have to try to hard to see through me
my teary eyes shown scars of sun set
search the night for any kind of peace
but now there’s not much left of me
keep your penitentiary your illuminati
already tried to get the best of me fell fine
Though it is my time
and God has sentenced me to Hell
I was not alone, never
you also were punished, fucked next to me
I’m stuck in love with your destiny
became it
you stayed real
never judged me never shamed it
I overcame it
I’m enflamed with it
never wrong they pushed me
hear the birds sing the saddest of songs
come along and see me wherever I’m at
I also was tormented and we were the strength
I’ll be the width and you’ll be the length
measure the dimensions of Hell
zoom tolls the bell listens
nowhere to be found now written
you give the signal and I’ll make the sound
from the ground I pound my way out beforehand
the sand and dirt
couldn’t stick around in the perfect
saw my brother dead was bound to serve it
set me free but better to send me under
see that I easily could’ve hurt
put the pistol to my head and put me in the dirt under
without so much as a thought wondering
windowshopper decade-long but could never have bought
another day in paradise
you were cold same I was the ice
I barely told you once I wont be dying twice
I still remember my feet being nipped at by huge city rats and mice
another memory inspires me to pull the plug on myself
treat yourself too they called it society
while I was stuck in the zoo this is my goodbye renewed
It’s just the rough skeleton first-draft of what might turn into an epic poem (I hope so anyways). I dedicate it to many of the people on this website.
how old are you?
Why does it even matter?
no not you 77evergone77
I love it Haunts All. And I agree. Does it really matter how old I am??? I don’t really care. Age is pointless.
I just turned 13. But at first glance you, Like most others, would probably guess somwhere between 14-16.
And @Haunts All: I just started another one. But I’m stuck. Could you help. This happens a lot when my mom starts pretending to care and blaming everyone and everything else.
I’ll try and help if I can. Don’t know though, I’m only recently recovering from a bout of writer’s block that lasted for over five years. Lately I just picture the scene in my head, sometimes the one right in front of me, and then I try to capture the feeling and put it onto paper. Simultaneously I try to make it have a nice flow while I’m writing it. What is the problem you’re having with this new poem exactly?
Putting it on paper the way it is in m head. I can seem to ever express anything properly with words.
I know that age doesnt matter but it turns out that wer close in age and i can relate to u. I love the way that you can express yourself on paper. I know what its like to lose the one your in love with…it happened to me. Music is what really saved me though.
I understand. I love music to the fullest. But like i just said i cant always put my thoughts on paper. How old are you anyway?
i am also 13. what are some of your favorite songs? i really hope you make…of course i hope i make it too.
I listen mostly to alternative and stuff like tht. Occasionally ska or indie too. I like the songs breaking the habit, mr. Smiley, point/counterpoint, animal I have become, and me against the world. There are a lot of others but I’m too tired and lazy to list all of them. Haha. What about you?
i like alternative too one of my favorite songs is “i stand corrected” i also like “arms of an angel”. There are a lot of good songs and of course i like “lucy in the sky with diamonds” as you can tell by my name.
Yeah. Somtimes songs can help. And other times not so much. I like how somtimes it can inspire my an once in a while, even pull me out of a writers block.
yah songs are great. another joy of human life is baths. Take one they are so relaxing and can help with stress really take one.
Ha. That was random.
yeah, but true.hows life?
Still horrible. Same old stuff. You?
idk…sorta the same
îugh. I cant write anymore
oh ok….wt do u mean?
Everthing I write sucks
no thts not true im way worse read the last poem i wrote on poetry hints
Have you read the last two poems I’ve written and posted. They’re terrible. Whatever. Anyway. Have you ever been to las Vegas? Hav you ever been on the statosphere or whTever it’s called. The only thong holding me back was this guard who was stairing me down and a huge crowd. But it felt so peacefull there on the edge. I was so calm and the turmoil that usually pollutes ny mind was just gone. I almost felt normal for a second.
yah ive been to vegas and your poems did not suck. I think that if u could feel normal for a second then you could feel normal for a minute, then an hour, then a day, then a month, then years
That was almost two years ago. And since then I’ve just been feeling worse. It’s even started to show up through my facade at school. Which scares me. My art teacher was depressed last year when her son got sick but now he’s better. But I thnk she’s noticed something. That scares me. Because she’ll tell the counciler if she finds out too much.
why would it be so bad to talk to the counciler?
She makes everything awkward then gets really mean. I got sent there once and just sat there as she glared at me and asked me random questions about pointless things. Like: “are you doing your homework…..are you sleeping enough…..what do you usually wear….how’s the weather?”
I want to know who hired her. And why.
What about your parents?
Dad makes things awkward and usually doesn’t care. My mom is usually full of critisizm and hurtful comments. I’m so used to her giving me lectures on everything that now I just stay silent. Same story with my sis. She hates me and has tourchered me and bullied me my whole life.
That really stinks but if you really want to talk you could ask someone on this site..if you want just ask someone theyll probs listen and care (if you pick the right person)
I know. I just never seem to pick the right person to talk to. I’ve tried a cuple of “friends” but they only want the person I pretend to be.
oh well thats to bad
Yeah. I just went to a therapy center where my aunt works. On kid kind of guessed right so that was interesting considering he had a suicidal issue too. It’s too ba we can’t stay in contact though.
why cant you stay in contact?
Because ny aunt watches over everyone there. She’ll notice. Or one of the helper there will. I might go back there some other time. Hopefuly on my own will. But it’s still tricky because no one knows he’s suiidal either.
Well thats to bad i just got back from the hospital fun
Ouch. What sent you in? (stupid question I know. But right now I need anything to keep me from doin somthn crazy. Considerin I’m at someones house. I don’t think it’s very courteous to attempt suicide at someones house. Ha. I almost cried in the car ride anyway. WTF? Haha I just got way off topic.
i was there because they thought my lyme came back and that i might die no that would be bad
Oh! Are you ok now?
yah i guess the lyme is back but whatever you get used to it after a while…i just hope that they dont kill someone for me this time
I hope you live. I think it was cruel for then to kill someone right in front of you. And I do know how you feel. Having to watch fomeone die. Even if in my case the death wasn’t to save me. But eithe way I’m glad your still here. Who knows. Maybe if you weren’t here I wouldn’t either.
True im glad tht i sorta met you. You give some small chance of hope.
InTheSkyWithDiamonds,
You give me some chance of hope tơo, so thank you for helping .
I’m glad to have done something mildly useful. I swear. Somthing goes wrong everyday. Today I accidentally burned my legs with chemicals while tryin to make myself all “pretty” so I could wear capri’s. It was pointless though. Because I ended up looking retarted with scars all over m legs and red patche that hurt.
thats too bad and park im glad that i give you some chane of hope. One day i think that the world will be okay.
Maybe
I dont know but there is some hope…
I have to agree. There must be. My only issue is that I’m usually too depressed to go out and try to fing it. But this morning I’m feeling somwhat better. I actually slept pretty OK last night. Also. I’ve started to practice piano more(:. I know I probably will go back to feeling down later today. But for now I’m going to try to stay somwhere inthe middle ground. Without a dark cloud hanging over me.
I still can’t let my “cancer riddled friend” go just yet. But yesterday a friend I thought had deserted me forever called up and told me that another friend told her what was goin on and what happened and what’s going on. I am a little mad at the friend who told for telling everything to somone who alwYs showed such ditain and hatred towards me, but i’m just happy, and a tad surprised that the girl she told cares. This can end multiple ways. So maybe it won’t end so badly maybe it will. Who knows. 🙂
Im glad that things are looking better for youa and you dont have to get over your cancer riddled friend yet. Do it slowly make it easier
Haha. Thank you for helping. But lilsteph just practically ruine my mood with a very rude comment. ): Oh well. Haha. At least it lasted for a little while. How are you feeling? Any better? Worse? Same?
Worse…way worse
I was in love with this guy and then my friend decided to like him and they started going out. Now he stopped talking to me and if you really want to know read my poem called “My Beautiful”.
That poem is beautiful. And from what I’ve come to know of you, you deserve whomever. But if he can’t see hiw wonderful you are, then he needs some help. I really shouldn’t give advice because I’ve been avoiding relationships, but have you guys gotten to know each other? Does he know the beautiful you shown here on this site?
Me and him e-mailed for a while and I guess he knows me very well.I told him lots of things but then my friend asked him out and he said yes. I guess I wasn’t enough.