I never thought I would want to remember this year.
So many bad things have happened to me this year that I just don’t want too ever look back on; my suicide attempt, my lack of firends, my parents divorce, my dog dying, people at school treating me like a complete freak, and now my best friend Drake is graduating and leaving me in the dust that still remains in high school.
But you know what, I want to remember, because of him.
Drake and I haven’t been friends for very long, but it feels like I’ve known him forever. We have done everything together this school year, spending every moment together that we could, and although I tell myself I would be okay without any friends, if I didn’t have him I probably would fall apart.
Drake is special. I know this because of Alyson. Alyson adores Drake, I bring him with me sometimes to see her, he knows all about her, all about me, I don’t keep secrets from him. He calls her sweetie-pie and baby and treats her like a princess, which is the most kind thing he could do for her. he doesn’t ask questions about her condition, doesn’t whine about life, he just spends time with her like she is normal, and he does the same for me.
I don’t want him to leave. I thought I would be okay when he left, I tried to stop talking to him for awhile, I didn’t want to get attached to him, but then I realized I already was, from the first day I met him I was attached like velcroe.
I love him, he’s one of the best things that has happened to me besides meeting Alyson. I can honestly say I’ve never felt closer and more open to anyone then I do to him. I know we will still keep in touch, he isn’t going far, but I know it’s going to hurt like hell to have to walk to class alone now, without his arm swung around my shoulders. IM GOING TO MISS HIM LIKE CRAZY.
I NEVER in my wildest dreams thought I was going to want to remember this year, but because of him…..
I do.
9 comments
Then remember him at his best and stay in contact. How did you meet Alyson anyway? Have him visit you as you visit Alyson. Just because you no longer are at school together doesn’t mean you can’t be together.
What a bond. I hope you both keep good contact.
@77evergone: its a long story which I explained in a post called Hope is terrifying. She happened to be in the bed next to me in the emergency room when I was brought there for trying to kill myself. She just introduced herself, we started talking and poof, we were friends!! I could just tell something about her was special, and I was right! Drake loves her too, he thinks its awesome im there for her at this time right now. I love him a lot, hes always been there for me, and most ppl confuse that kind of love with boyfriend/girlfriend love, but its not that….I suppose it could be, but…its so much more then that.
Yeah. I remember that post. I Agree, she is special. I’m Gald you met her and I met you, and through you, her. What is happenin with Drake though? Is he going to a college that is far away?
@77evergone77: Im glad I met you too! In fact, everyone ive met through this website has been extraordinarily kind and non-judgemental which i really, really appreciate.
No, actually he is going to a college very close, and I have his number and everything but its just that I feel like not going to be as close to him anymore because I wont see him everyday at school. Over the phone or computer is nowhere near as personal as seeing the person face-to-face, and i am going to miss seeing him everyday and just being around him, he makes me feel like I really am worth something and he treats me with respect and dignity. There can’t ever be another Drake.
‘there can never be another Drake’. That is true on so many levels and I understand what you mean compleatly. There has only been one other person on this site that I’ve been able to talk to like I have with you, but she’s gone now. Just another stab and another missing peice of my heart and soul(I have to stop saying things like that).
Try to visit Drake as much as you can and have him visit you. Maybe you’ll end up at the same college as him. Then you can be together again. Keep working towards that day.
@77evergone77: I am so glad that my writing has been able to make u feel like u can open up and talk to me, and I hope anyone who reads my post and is looking for just someone to talk to, realizes that they can talk to me. We can all go to counselors who tell us what to do and how to live, but if doctors really wanted us to get better they would put us all in a room and have us live there for a year or so. I honestly think that would be the best therapy in the world, because then u would get to know each other, care for each other, want the other people who come to call ur friends to get better. Really, talkign to others with the same problems as u is the best thing u can do for urself.
You can talk to me anytime, my AIM is violetblake20, and anyone can IM me, ill always be willing to talk to someone from this site, so just make sure u tell me that ur from this site. I have an email too, RerdmanK1@gmail.com, again anyone from the sight can email me, just make sure u make it clear that ur from this sight. But i will always email back, I won’t ever not, because i want to talk to all of you who have gotten to know me through my writing, that is why I write at all actually, because I want others to be able to connect with themselves through my words.
I am actually planning on going to the same college as Drake! I am so excited for that too, it will be just like the old days!! There is something I didn’t tell u about the two of us, so if anyone wants to know what else happened between us then AIM me or email me, ill be willing to share there. I may post it…Well, ill think about it.
I’m glad you and drake will be able to be together again an that you plan on making it to college. I hope to be able to make it that far as well. Because of a recent gradiation I had to spend time with my aunt who’s a phychologist and my cousin who’s a therapist and because it was so hot I had to war stuff that showed some scars. Then as soon as I got home I partially lost control during a fight with my sister an punched her. Thank god for karate! Haha.
Anyway, are you excited for college?
College to me feels like it’s not going to be much different from high school, because high school for me is all about being the best you can at whatever it is you want to do with your life, and trying not to screw it all up in the process. But, I’m actually looking forward to college, two more years! I mean, i like learning so i think college will be a blast. I know its meant for partying ans such but I am NOT A PARTIER! haha lol, i wont even pick up a shotglass or touch a cigarette or any of that crap, not even when im old enough, i want to live past 45 thank you.