Okay you do that. After threathing to burn my house down, breaking my nose (having to go get surgery witch cost over $2000), giving me brusies and scares, hiting me with a knife, beating me up, and chocking me. And you say if my dad calls the cops on you that your gonna kill me. Why don’t you kill me already so my dad will just call the cops on you and then my death wouldnt look sucidal but like a murder. It would be perfect you would get the punisment you desreve and i would be in a better place. I cared for you  and all you did was take advange of me you used me to do your homework, to beat on, to hurt. And then when I finally yell at you, you blamed me agian. I don’t know if your just stupid or can’t see your own reflection in the mirror but you’ve hurt me and I cant deal with it anymore. I’m done. I want to end it so bad. I want to just leave. I want the feeling of the gun to my head. Of how quick the pain would be over if i did. I just dont know what my parents would think. Would they be hurt. Surprised. I don’t know I guess I’ll have to give this some more thought, but imaging how quick I could end it gives me a sense of joy. I know if I ever just cant bear another second I dont have to.
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16 comments
Who here doesn’t know the feeling of wanting a gun.
From this post it sounds like you want suicide because of her, is this true? In my opinion I seriously think you should ditch her, she attacks you for fuck sake I have no idea how you’ve put up with her this long… I’m not trying to be mean, maybe you just want to help her like you want someone to help you but if she refuses which it sounds like she’s doing then there’s absolutely NOTHING you can do.
(real sorry if I’m making no sense, I haven’t slept in 3 days, 2 nights from insomnia.)
1)insomnia fuking SUCKS(sorry I just cried in front o my karate teacher so I’m acting a bit immature)
2) have you tried actually telling her that she is killing you? If
u hav then just ditch her. She has to learn this on her own.
@77evergone77: Everyone cries. I wouldn’t worry about it 🙂
I know but for some reason she’s the only thing in my head. And yes she is killing me. But she has stop me from killing myself on many occasions buts she also tells me to burn in hell and that she wants to die. I dont know why i still try its more of a abusive friendship and for some reason i just cant let her go………………..
It doesn’t have to stop all at once, just slowly fade away from her. eg. put 1 more day in between seeing/talking to her every time until your up to a month (turn your phone off or ignore her when she calls) I can explain further if I’m not making sense.
@ Anna. I know everyone cries. But do try get punched in the face repeatedly whole crying?? By a person 5 times thair size while being yelled at. I sobbed and felt like I couldn’t stop. Sorry if it sounds like I’m being a ***** but I’m afraid because that is one o my major cracks that prove that my vaneer is starting to break and shatter.
@my choice/emogirl. I agree you should try to avoid her for periods of time until you get used to the idea of her being gone.
@77evergone77: Oh, I’m so sorry! I didn’t realise. That just sounds… horrible. Utterly, utterly horrible. I really am sorry, I didn’t at all mean to sound insensitive, but now I realise that’s how it came across. Are you okay now?
I guess I’m trying to ingnore her all together now. I blocked her from my phone, facebook, myspace and every other place i could. But she always winds up in my life she talks to me in school and every other place she can. I just want to be friends but she just wants to use me……….
Ignore her as much as you can. Try to disapear when she talks to you. I had a similar thing happen to me so I isolated my self from that person. I found someone else and stuck to them until she got the message.
@anna. No. I’m not really okay. That’s why I’m here. My breakdowns are getting worse and just today I broke my no cutting streak. I’m still very scared.
~evergone
I know I hate the scars on my arm and everyone at my school always wants to see them. It just feels so good, like i have some kind of control, it also relives my pain over the days stresses……… and this girl doesnt get it i blocked her from everything and she still talks to me in school i swear she killing me everytime she says a word. Also i got a new boyfriend today….. bet she gonna fuck it up to cause im not being her friend anymore……………………:(
Tell her to get the fuck away from you or start acting nicer. And about the scars. Show them to her clearly and tell het that this is her fault and is she doesn’t stop there’s going to be blood on her hands and a body at her feet (please make it an idle threat but don’t tell her that). Be convincing. Make sure she understands that unless she wants jail time and her own phychologist, she had better fix herself fast.
As you can tell Im in a possed of mood. I swear an hour ago I was as mellow as possible. This is creepy.
o wow sorry and i will try but now she gonna break me and my boyfriend up she told me on myspace that my happiness has come to a end and that i better get a knife and a towl ready cause this is going to be messy………
I hope she know that knife is ment for her. Right now I’m just as pissed as before because my brothers mom Just died (he’s only Half my brother) and two of my “friends” have herpes(not pretty) :(. Don’t give her the chance. Tell your boyfriend what she’s planning and what she’s done to you. Make sure he understands the pain she’s putting you through.
i know i did and then i had to leave school because i was sick im not sure what she said to him but he wont talk to me now and im really scared that she did something to convinve him to dump me………:(
Trying to impress people is useless. Even temporary things like getting them to look at your scars or sign a cast will not make them your friend. Doing stupid things doesnt work. Standing up for yourself doesnt work. NOTHING will work. Power is nothing, you don’t want power. All eyes on you and i personally hate being the centre of attention, espesh in a crwded place.
crowded*