You know I’m kind of wondering why four months have gone by since I broke up with my ex and yet I still feel like this…but I think I worked it out tonight…I didn’t just lose my gf I lost my best friend…I mean sure I have other people I call friends but I’m just not close to any of them…can’t talk to them or confide in them for so many reasons…and being in uni I have years to go before moving out and having my own independence or the chance of a new life becomes any sort of a reality…
Basically I just needed to write a little…hell I don’t care if anyone reads this or even answers but I’m just a 19 year old guy sitting here for another night at his computer feelings lonely and lost…ah I really do hate emotions sometimes especially when they get a grip of you like this I just wish I could remember what feeling genuinely happy was like and go back to when I could just wake up in the morning and enjoy my day…
To be honest I’ve considered suicide before but for the time being at least it doesn’t feel like the answer but at the same time I kind of hate feeling this alone and feeling so utterly pathetic because of not going out as much as other people or having as many friends…I blame society for that to be honest…I’d just like someone to tell me when things are going to turn around…or if there is any real light at the end of the tunnel…I feel like I’ve been floating through life not just for the last few months but for years…howcome it’s so hard to just be happy these days…anyway it’d be nice to hear some thoughts or something even if this is just me rambling…
4 comments
Things will change. If you want to chat at any time send me a message or something, it’s hard being lonely I know =( <3 take care xx
Mr. Cloud34156:
Rambling???? Who doesn’t do that sometimes lol. We’ll allow you to get off scott free this time…..lol. But at some point we all have felt broken hearted and its one of those pains that no one can ever understand in a million years. I pray that your heart be mended and that you have the power to get over this heartache.
If you really love her, and she you, then nothing can keep you guys a part. Remember that fate is in control. I’ll keep you in my prayers always. I hope that if she really and truly is for you, that she will return back to you.
If you ever want to speak to someone or just vent about how you feel. I’ll be willing to listen. Heck, it will be an honor:). Contact me at angeloflight91@hotmail.com if you like to.
Rose
Its skin the colour of blood,
Its thorns hurt like I knew it would.
Its stem strong threw time past,
If picked will it free me at last?
On every petal a different trail,
Curled in a bud just like a snail.
When in a bunch it brings a smile,
Put in water they last for a while.
I chose the rose for who I am,
I’m like the bud trapped in this man.
When opened for all to see,
It’s the prettiest thing the love in me.
Thank you everyone I’m a bit better this morning unfortunately my emotions are just so unruly as of late that at one moment I can feel brilliant and the next fall right to the ground again. Anyway again thank you for your support if do want to talk sometime my email is Jamesbond_541@hotmail.com and I don’t mean just to hear me rant or get upset but if any of you have problems yourself and you want to talk about. Hopefully I can keep the good mood going for a while this time but I’ll likely be back again in a few weeks or a month when I next fall prey to a depressive spike.