9/23/2010

To whoever may find this or care,

I have taken my life of my own free will. I have no desire to go on. I will list exactly why as I go on through this letter.

Call me what you want. I am sound in what I have done. I hope that God, if God exists, that I may be forgiven for what I have done. I also hope that my friends and family may forgive me.

I cannot go on. I’m sorry. My body is failing me more and more every day. I’m always in pain. My back hurts beyond imagine. It aches sitting, laying, or standing. I wake up every day and it hurts to exist. My neck hurts. My shoulder blades hurt.

I hurt everywhere.

I can’t be with my wife, Wendy. She is killing me on the inside. She treats me like I’m nothing 50% of the time. She always seems mad at me. Nothing I do is good enough for her. I could always do better. I hate my life. I hate my life. I hate my life. She makes me hate myself. I don’t want to live with the hurt she has placed on me. I am not, nor will I ever, be her equal. I am nothing but a lower class husband to her. I can’t live with it.

I’m sorry my friends.
I will miss you all.
Hate me or love me, it matters not.
I’m beyond those worldly matters now.

To my mom, please give her all photos and paintings to her along with anything she desires.

To Wendy, anything left over that my mother does not want. Hopefully in death I can give you more than I did in life.

As for what’s left of me, please take me somewhere beautiful. I don’t care where, just somewhere I can rest peacefully. Where I can watch the sun set.

I love you all. I hope that memories of good times out shine this bad memory of me. If you ever think of me, just know that I’m now free. That I’m no longer tied down to this mortal plane of existence.