I have found only release in cutting. Particularly my wrists just for convenience sakes. My parents found out and sent me to various therapists, none of whom could help me with my “problem”. Recently I saw my old razor blade that my dad took away from me in his cabinet. I hunger for it, but I know that if I took it, I would be found out.
I also struggle with suicidal thoughts, such as drinking ammonia and bleach. I don’t know what to do. And everyday is just a fake smile, hanging out with my fake friends. I can’t talk to them, and really say how I feel without the fear of being turned against.
I don’t know. I just want my razor blade back, and then I know I would feel better.