I’m sorry if my problems seem stupid to anyone on here, you all are talking of politics and spirituality and deep issues and so my problems seem so superficial but I can’t help who I am, and I’m rapidly becoming suicidal due to it.
I took pills and booze 5 weeks ago, I woke up 2 days later, I didn’t tell anyone. You see, on the face of it, I look like I have it all and I’ve hidden my feelings from everyone the whole time. I feel like I can’t say any of this to my friends or family.
I thought I always knew what I wanted to do with my life but now I feel like a huge failure in life. What I wanted in life was to only be gorgeous so I could model. I got my boobs done and worked in a lap dancing bar as well as doing photo shoots. My parents hated it but I was so determined I was doing the right thing. I’ve had plenty of partners (though I’m not a slapper or anything). But now I’ve turned 30 and I’m quickly realising that my looks are gonna fade and I can’t be doing what I’m doing much longer. But no way can I do a 9-5 job. Men are useless and never tell the truth and only want one thing then they go off and marry some overweight mousy haired career woman! I feel so stupid and alone and like I’ve done it all to myself, but I only ever wanted to be happy. I’d rather be dead than face my future.