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Today, i thought i was doing well. I hadnt thought of suicide for a long time..
I’m fifteen and my first suicide attempt was three months before my thirteenth birthday. I’ve been going to a center and seeing a therapist about my problems… It all started with me being bullied at primary school. It was all from the same group of four boys.. they even took it as far as following me home and beating me up. I had to move schools and home because it got so bad… Ontop of that, my dad suddenly stopped seeing me, causing me to be an emotional wreak from the age of seven.. My mom is also abusive. Verbally and Physically. I live with her, but the child care place has never taken me off of her. She constantly reminds me that im ‘fucked up in the head’ and she lies alot as well, shes just trying to run me down. I’m under 24/7 supervison by my mom when im not at school, she’s really two faced, but nice as pie to my social worker. She’s a real ***** to me.
I became best friends with another suicidal girl in my school. We became un- sepearable and we were like sisters… we where there for each other all the time 24/7,. . she stopped me from killing my self twice and we made a pact to stay forever toegether… but today she’s been cyber bullying me, shes turned against me and spitting everything in my face… i have no one. i want to die, but ivve tried over five times and nothing’s worked. its’ actually really hard to kill yourself. All i want is to die..
can someone give me a way ?
5 comments
it is actually really easy to kill yourself and maybe because you have tried 5 times and not succeeded its your body’s way of telling itself that you are not ready to die. you are too young, there is still so much time and hope for you… i was bullied when i was younger (im 21 now) and it seems like it will never end but try and be as strong as you can and not let others get to you.. if you want to talk about anything please contact me!
( i didnt mean the first part to come off as mean or anything like that!)
don’t do it, it’s gonna get better. I thought i was in absolute hell and i turned around.
btw if you wanna get away from your mom, get proof. video tape (secretly, with the recorder in your pocket or on a shelf or something) her violent interactions with you.
the social work’ll have you out faster than you can say by.
tell a teacher if you can. for me its my dad instead of my mom. my parents are divorced so i went home after he hurt me several times and told her. i got a lawyer and a temporary restraining order. i wont have to see him until after the court hearing and hopefully not even then. im 12 and ive been like this for as long as i can remember. i have so many scars from cutting and i weigh less than 50 pounds but im still fat and i have to lose. if you kill yourself or start cutting or not eating or puking like i did remember before you start that even though it makes you feel better it also means that you let them win. dont kill yourself. if you do all it means is that your friend, the bullies, your mom, and everybody else just gets away with what they’re doing. be strong and keep fighting. if you ever need to talk im here. i know im younger but it feels like i know what you’re going through, so if you want to talk or something email me.
I agree with them, get proof of what your moms doing to you. dont let them win.
Please dont die. Things will get better.
I’m 14 and i’ve been bullied about my sexuality. [i’m bisexual] and i didnt let them get the best of me , even though it hurt, and i’d cry myself to sleep for a while i got help from someone.
My parents dont abuse me physically but they do verbally.
I’m always here to talk to. I may not know exactly what you’ve been through but i can try being a friend to you.
you can email me or add me on facebook if you have one.
-mariaaranda2010@yahoo.com
-facebook.com/marialetsrunaway