She smiles and pretends that the world is okay.
But every time she comes home she thinks, is today the day?
The day when I’ll finally cry my last cry?
Is today the day when I’ll finally die?
Or maybe I should wait, a day or two to see how I feel.
To see if it’s just the blues, or if this is for real.
But it’s been five years, so it’s not just the blues.
I guess I’m just to scared to do what I have to do.
Or do I really want to die, I usually think so.
Or do I just want to run away from life, just run and go?
I wish I could just go to bed and never awaken.
I guess I have to be strong, and I can’t be shaken.
Somedays aren’t so bad, and other days are worse.
but it still seems like I’m wearing that fake smile, something I have to rehearse.
When people ask me whats how I’m doing, I reply “Good, and you?”
But all I want to say is, honey, if only you knew.