I wake up everyday around 5am breathing fast anxious to start the day because I have no future. I become more buried when I see the thousands of people at my uni. laughing and doing well in classes with ease. Family/school problems have done lead me to this point and I honestly just want to end it. I’m sure at this point everyone I talk to can see and hear the anxiety and depression in my voice and face. I can’t compete in this world and I’m reminded of that everyday and that’s all I can think about.
I have nothing to look foward to and want out of this world.
31 comments
Hey i suffer from depression and bad anxiety too i know it sucks its horrible i swear its a bloody curse!
I know exactly how you feel. I wake up early in the morning feeling the same thing. Sometimes I get bad dreams about the past and everything and can’t get back to sleep at around like 4am. I can personally say I hate this feeling..
@deep abyss and crying on the inside I honestly want to just end my life. At this point everything is a wreck I no longer want to live with this feeling. Is their a painless effective way to do so?
I want to end it too, especially when I find myself suffocating inside my room when I get home from school. I’m pretty sure lots of people here do too… but idk any painless and effective way to do so, sorry. I’m pretty sure there are.. but I just haven’t found it yet.. and I checked potassium cyanide that you said you wanted to use.. but although they say you lose consciousnes in like 20 sec., you won’t die until like 30-45 minutes later, out of suffocation from no oxygen. Those 30-45 minutes.. might not be so painless as people say..
I hear ya’s i want outta here too. Im gonna wait a bit longer see if i can find a partner to do h2s but its taking too long to find someone and theres barely any aussies and the ones that i do find are weirdos with other intentions. God this is hard i wish there was an easier way. I heard from some guy that said he had ******** not sure how he got his hands on that but i havent heard back from him yet
@deep abyss I found that 0.2grams is the lethal amount so taking a tablespoon full would be 50 times more than the lethal amount and that would be enough to kill you in 20 to 45 seconds. In order for it to work it must be a really high dosage otherwise you may feel it if you take a small dose and yes that will take longer. But yeah I looked it up and it seems the most legit. What do you think ?
@crying in the inside h2s way sounds so really messy why don’t you try the potassium cyanide way? it seems more promising and less harsh.
Its how most people these days are doin it you just mix two chemicals together in a small confined space like a car or sealed off room or cupboard but you gotta put signs up for the people that find you so they dont get sick and i think its safer to do it in a car rather then a inside a house or something cause it can seep out and make alot of people sick. I’ve heard you die within a couple of seconds you just fall asleep. Have you looked up ********? I feel kinda weird and horrible talking about this so openly but its nice to be able to talk to people who think and feel the same way but i would never wanna encourage anyone to kill themselves
@hani3, I looked it up some, and it doesn’t kill you that fast, even with the full dosage. It says you’ll lose consciousness in that time, but then die 30-45 minutes later. It might be legit, but honestly.. it doesn’t sound painless. The losing consciousness, no one can be sure, they could just be writing in pain that they can’t talk or scream or just unable to do anything as their bodies can’t move. I only know that poisons are painful, since the kill your body slowly from in inside.
@crying on the inside, I’ve looked that numbutal up, but all I’ve found is that it’s usually used as an insomia or something pill. It’s used in like a few states as lethal injection… but… idk how painful or not that is. It might work… but it sounds like you can only buy the pill form.. more than the injection one, so then.. it’ll just be like overdose… and overdose have chances of failing and leaving you worse off..
I haven’t looked that way up and I’m going to stick to a substance that way like potassium cyanide so I know nothing can interfere. I feel badly talking about this too but this is what we were dealt with and I personally can’t go on with everything that has happened in my life.
@crying in the inside what do you think about the potassium cyanide way especially if someone takes past the lethal dosage?
It sounds too hard to get a hold of. I remember watching this thing on tv about assisted suicide and they mixed a drink and gave it to the guy and he just fell asleep and died not sure what it was though im thinking it was either ******** or potassium cyanide. I wish you could just buy a pill this is hard and really didnt wanna hang myself i just wish i was never born and you’s are all so far away 🙁
@crying on the inside what’s your email? Mines is hnli375@gmail.com email me yours since you may not want to give it out online but yeah Deep Abyss, yours and my stories are the same and I really need someone to talk about this with and it seems like a bad idea to put the specifics here.
Anyways your rightbits very hard to get a hold of but I know someone has to know right? Like didn’t someone on here have access to it a little while ago I know I read the post from before where someone could get it. You know? Cause this is truly the only way that I want to go.
What do you think?
Idk and maybe if you some how tried to get it online what if like cops show up at your house cause i’ve read that happening before
Yeah, I’ve heard of that happening before too. And the cyanide isn’t easy to get as the ********, since I heard that they have that as a prescription drug too. idk if you’ll be able to even get it online, since your order my just get traced and then they cancel it. Since most people might not know you’re using it for yourself and assume it’s to kill others…
Ok cause you and Deep Abyss are the only ones that understand what it feels like to be in this position and can identify with my story.
I guess you have to be smart about where to find it to avoid that happening but that’s my million dollar question where do I find that online? I’m dying thinking about how hard this is and each day gets more terrible to live through without it. : /
I’m not sure where you can find that online. I’m not sure even regular citizens can get that. You’ll have to be like related to some medical field to buy that pure.
This is what I read on what might happen if you live through it and it fails though..
•DELAYED EFFECTS OF EXPOSURE: Usually death occurs rapidly or there is prompt recovery. Survivors of severe cyanide exposures may suffer brain damage due to a direct effect of the poison (toxin) on nerve cells, or to a lack of oxygen, or possibly due to insufficient blood circulation. Examples of long-term neurological effects caused by cyanide poisoning include personality changes, memory loss, and disturbances in movement (both voluntary and involuntary movement disorders); some damage may be permanent.
Unless it’s a sure way and it’ll work without failing.. that doesn’t sound too appealing to me. That would be worse than from where I started from now. Idk if potassium cyanide is the way to go right now… I’m gonna see if I can find a less painful way that’ll surely kill me instead of failing.
@abyss I’ve read that if you take a high dosage of it their is no way you can survive it. The lethal dosage is 0.2 grams which is barely 1gram so imagine taking a table spoon of potassium cyanide that’s like 40 grams and that’s enough to kill you instantly at that point their would definitely be no way someone could wake up from that amount. I too have looked online for other ways but it’s hard to find any accessible painless way that’s why Im looking into the potassium cyanide way.
Take it from someone who tried to overdose on 15 hydrocodone apap 5-500 pills. Any pill way will NOT do anything for you other than make you sick for a day. Right now poisons like potassium cyanide is the only way I see it.
Abyss what’s your idea of a less painful that exists and is accessible? Cause so far I’ve got nothing. I’d like to know you guys thoughts ?
I’ve read about taking a table spoon of that already too. It still takes about 30-45 minutes for you to die. I read that it can kill you 50 times over, but it will still take that much time. That’s why there have been survivors… which end up worse.. having body and brain damage and live in the hospital where they’re watched by nurses and can’t kill themselves living like that..
I haven’t found a great idea yet, that’s why I’m still here. I’ve read several methods already, but there’s a lot that can fail. I’m still searching for it. I just don’t wanna end up worse than I am already and unable to die while in that worse state… so I’m being more careful about the method. Would you personally mind if you fail and end up just brain dead or damaged beyond repair, but then lose your memories and then live in worse pain than now?
I have to research it more but as long as you take a really high dose it should do it. And yeah that is my worst nightmare waking up and failing. When I tried to O.D. on the 15 pills and woke up that morning I cried lying in bed frustrated with why I was still alive. It wasn’t/isn’t the beat way to go and i’m here to also find a better method because right now all I have is potassium cyanide way as pathetic and dangerous as that sounds.
I really need help with this guys. : /
what do we do ?
I have to research it more but as long as you take a really high dose it should do it. And yeah that is my worst nightmare waking up and failing. When I tried to O.D. on the 15 pills and woke up that morning I cried lying in bed frustrated with why I was still alive. It wasn’t/isn’t the beat way to go and i’m here to also find a better method because right now all I have is potassium cyanide way as pathetic and dangerous as that sounds.
I really need help with this guys. : /
What do we do now?
I’ve thought of overdosing a lot of times, until I’ve learned how that usually fails, unless you know exactly the types to take.
I’m not sure… I’m just living until I find a better way to die. I really don’t wanna just take something thinking I’ll die just to wake up in the hospital in great pain and agony, unable to move anymore or talk or anything at all, and still be alive.
I know what you mean I can’t fail and end up in the hospital. What else can we do. How can it be so hard to end life? I really need a way out it’s all I can think about since lif is too much to handle right now.
Please share any info you find on better ways. : /
I know what you mean. I still breathe hard when I think about depressing things in life. Been to the point that lately I’ve been sleeping in the afternoons a lot, since I can’t really sleep way too well at night.
Sure, I can share some info to you if I can find any way. If I was fine with feeling pain, this wouldn’t be so hard. Dying is really so easy, you can just walk down the road and die of an accident, it’s that easy. The only hard part is the pain that you feel before dying. It’s not that easy to deal with. At least not for me. I rather die without writhing around in suffocation.. preferably..
I feel the same way to Abyss I just want this to end. I’d like to go in a painless way aswell. I just can’t battle back from this state of mind. I hope we can find a way to. I really need to end it I have no other way other than the potassium cyanide way.
Potassium cyanide may not end it. It may make you worse than you’ve ever been.
What do you mean if IRS a poisonous drug it should be able to end it for you if you take a really high dose right?
Anyways ive read it usually kills people very quickly if the dosage exceeds the lethal limit.
What are your thoughts on it and what do you know about that drug?
What about using a gun? I read that 60% of suicides are done using a gun. I tried the pill and alcohol mixture thing but just ended up throwing up. I think I will try the gun method.
hi
im not gonna tell u not to kill urself if thats what u rlly want
but it doesnt seem that u WANT to die, u jus want everything to be “okay”
honestly……drop out of school, ditch ur family, ditch this life….do watever u want…move away, far away….to the city or deep into the woods and b alone…..
do whatever u wanna…..
i rlly dont know…its hard….really hard…
especially when everything’s been taken and you have nothing left, im in that position…….
but….you jus have to think of something to be happy about….like the position of your head when you bite into a taco
did any of this help at all?
I mean,yes, it may end your life on this earth at least, but that’s as far as we know. We only know that people stop living on this earth when they “die” – but we don’t know what happens. Anything can happen, and the worst may happen instead.
For example, if there is a hell, then we’ll be doomed eternally. Or maybe there is another place we go to, and maybe we’ll face the same problems. Or maybe we may just really disappear.
Anything is conceivable – nobody knows.
@lynettee0 what do thing is a managable painless way to go ? I’m really looking into potassium cyanide it seems like the only way to go for painless way.
What can we do to end it? Any thoughts on what works or hasn’t and any personal experiences?
Please let me know.
lynette0….here’s a site I suggest you take a look at. This doctor has counseled many, and been with many as they pass on.
I hope it sheds light on your awareness.
http://soulproof.com/
I have to say, even projecting that probability – you’re damning yourself. Why would you think that. That’s fear, …I’m not saying to check out-just encouraging you to do some research and come to a conclusion based on that and not fear filled speculation. I have had a near death exp…I have been in other dimensions-I’m okay, protected, loved-why should you not be. Cheers!
i know how one can get hold of cyanide guys.