I’ve wanted to cease living since I was about 9? The first knowledge of suicide I had, at 7, seemed appealing for a second only because my mom still hadn’t tried apologizing for not showing up, nor did she try contacting at all. I don’t think I even have the energy to even explain why the prospect of suicide still hangs in the back of my mind, more prominent than I’d like to admit, but it’s all relevant. I hate putting the few I have through knowing me any longer. I’m miserably horrible to be around. I make them feel awkward, because I tell them how jealous I am of them. I really am jealous though. And I keep looking for solidarity that won’t ever come and a sense of trust from someone. The physical and emotional pain I’ve been through isn’t the worst ever, but from everyone I’ve met, I can’t find anyone who can seem to relate on this level of pain. And that’s so hard at times.
I’m sure I’ll write again. With more details as to why I could easily quit living. Just another mistake with mommy and daddy issues.
3 comments
well i am jealous of you if you really experienced the difficulties and pain you mentioned, only great people experience challenges tell me about your problems more clearly before you do anything
Romans 8:38-39
“And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow—not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love. No power in the sky above or in the earth below—indeed, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord.”
“The LORD is near to the brokenhearted, and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” Psalm 34:18
I may not be able to relate to your pain, I do not know your entire personal story, but I would love to talk to you! If you ever want to talk or vent, please contact me, I would love to hear from you 🙂
Love,
Adrianne
altera.ad@gmail.com
losthope, I know exacly what your going through.
And, i know people say that all the time, but…..i have scars up my arm from previous atempts and neither of my parents care.
I too am jealous of other people whos lives are cool and fun.
I know mines not.
But i also know:
It does get better.
People say that all the time to but i really know it does. After i had a HUGE fight with my parents, i called this boy, Nick.
He helped me through everything.
It only takes one person.
May God be with you and….i really hope to hear from you again; email me:
mamartin422@yahoo.com
I hope i can help.
And i hope you find someone who will listen.
I did.
🙂