I wish…an account of unrequited love

I wish that I didn’t have hands and arms, so I wouldn’t pretend that they were yours when I hold myself for comfort.
I have no need for hands or arms , because I will never be able to hold you in mine.

I wish that I didn’t have feet or legs, so that I wouldn’t long to walk beside you for all of my days.
A path where that is possible doesn’t exist. Instead I shall walk alone forever and grow tired and weary with no use for these limbs of mine without you.

I wish that I didn’t have a spine, so that I wouldn’t want to lay beside you.
There is no place where we will ever lie together.

I wish that I didn’t have lungs so that I wouldn’t want to always breath the same air as you.
Instead I breath in your scent as it floats by on the wind when you walk away from me.

I wish that I didn’t have breasts, so that I wouldn’t be the same sex as you.
This might hurt less if our similarities weren’t what makes me different.

I wish that I didn’t have lips so that I wouldn’t want to kiss you and tell you that I love you.
Instead my lips will stay cracked and dry forever. I can speak to no other.

I wish that I didn’t have eyes, so that your beautiful face couldn’t ignite such feelings in me and reflect the hope that you see for me.
You’ll never see deep enough in to my eyes though, so blind me from everything and spare me from pain.

I wish that I felt like this for someone else and wanted all of this with them instead of you, but I don’t.
I wish that I didn’t have such destructive feelings as it is this yearning for you so that disgusts me and makes me hate myself. It is this that makes me wish that I didn’t exist in both my mind and body, as without you I desire nothing and am rendered useless.