I am glad I found this site, the entire Suicide Concept truly amazes me and has for years….
I am confused by the many posts from people that state they are in some type of *pain*. I am not sure ‘pain’ is the correct word to use, or maybe my situation is just different than others. I do think you might want to read mine, or hell maybe not. I’m male, 44, married to one of the most beautiful ladies I have ever laid eyes on for 24 years, 3 children. I have a good job, decent house. So maybe I am not the typical stereo-type that would find a site like this.. I am not sick, nor in any type of *physical pain*
What *I* am and what *I* think many others are is Tired…. Just worn down from Life. We all have our stories, the trials or whatever you want to call it that you dealt / deal with growing up. But seriously at the end of the day what is real is that the times are different, people are horrible to each other, what happened to being polite, maybe a simple “thank you� What happened to holding the door open for others? What happened to thinking more about others before yourself? Heck anymore, if you help someone, they just take it for granted and don’t appreciate it. Compassion or sensitivity nope, gone. Faithfulness? Gone….
I don’t see the finish line, all I see is unappreciative people getting ahead and some of us getting left behind. The future for me in my eyes… get up go to work, come home eat dinner, 5 days a week, mow grass on weekends and maybe swing a golf club ( which is stupid expensive) this isn’t the way I want to keep going on. Enjoyment in our lives, you’re kidding right? What the hell is enjoyment? Always something needing done, always something somewhere for someone.
The big question… Do *I* want out…. If people don’t change and all I see in my future is this life… than ya, save me a seat on the train outta here…. I’m ready to go…..
18 comments
The pain in my case it real, yes, I am also tired but there is also pain, physical pain. The cause of the pain is, I am sure, psychosomatic, the effect is however as physically real as it would be had someone staved in my chest, turned my butts or beaten my knees. Depression leads to both emotional and physical pain, indeed, many are not aware that they suffer from depression believing themselves to have some physical complaint, tests are done and nothing is found to be physically wrong.
Ok, I am focusing on a single point, there are others, changes in society, some of which I would say are good, others less so. We are primitive creatures living in an environment that is increasingly out of kilter with both are physical and psychological design. There are bound to be problems but then how many of us would choose to go back to the deprivations of our hunter, gatherer ancestors ?
There is a notion amongst some depressed that they are somehow, as evidenced by their condition, morally superior or more realistic than others. I don’t buy it. We are damaged and damaged out view of the world is coloured by that damage. We suffer.
Change your job
Ok short answer your got bill’s to pay but try finedin something you enjoy doing your only here once.
I’m with you buddy. I’m tired and ready to go as well. I burned out on the daily grind a while ago and can’t see myself going back to it. Leaving this world behind seems to be my only option.
It is amazing how many are burned out. The grind…. Perfect example. Day in, day out… the job is only a part of it. again everyone has their own stories. Perfect life growing up, not here…. lost my dad at 7, mom never remarried… wife cheat on ya… ya, been through that. stay with wife to make sure kids are raised somewhat correctly with a little of my values and common sense, yep… and this is supposed to be living? I have cash in the bank, its never enough. New Job, wont cure it… new wife wont cure … wont trust another to give my heart to. I guess i grew up to early, started working to early at 8, still doing it. Work… hell its all i know how to do. Again… just tired of the game… the way the cards were dealt. Now if i could find the train station….
And once that will to live leaves the building, so to speak, it’s hard to get it back. I don’t even know if I want it back, truth be told. Life is just too hard. I don’t like the hand I was dealt either, and if you don’t have the right cards it’s hard to win the hand, much less the game.
Spooky, that someone is at the same point I am, the wife, nah wont miss me, hell she wont miss a beat, the kids, hmmmm…heartbroken at first but I have raised them strong and made sure they had a childhood.
I agree with ya Dylan, I’m pretty sure I dont want it back either.
I’ll have the addtional life insurance policies done up next week and am reviewing my homeowners policy to make sure that the the house etc, is taken care of in case of an accident… The Will, already done which includes the kid’s college education is taken care of.
I suppose I’ll catch the train within 20 – 30 days as I cross off certain details that need taken care….
Your kids and wife will miss you. You are important to them.
kids yes…..
Then the kids …. My father killed himself when I was 12, tragically I walked in on him …. My life changed and the memory has remained with me ever since …. Your children would be devastated.
You needed to read between the lines, at one point I said accident. The kids would never know
well then fuck your job and leave, find a new jobs somewhere else that pays less but helps more. the fact of it is that you are one of those people who arent self serving, if you show the world what it is to be beneviolent then itll change, slowly im sure but as long as your there to help those who fall get back up then people will take into account such a great gesture and will be better people because of it. you might not get to see a great change but raise your kids to do the same and they will.
You didnt get it from the start Che, It isnt about the job… its about the game and how it wears on a person. Your comments are so far off base on this original thread…. Its about just being tired, and not wanting to play…
Game over
Your almost right Black… Game Over and Conversation over.
Peace and good night.
Hi. Thanks for sharing.
Neat that you brought attention to the “weariness” a lot of us probably feel with life.
Reading your post, in many ways it is very similar to other posts in here. You describe your circumstances, and in your case they sound relatively comfortable, but you describe them completely negatively.
To me, that is a clear sign of “depression” or melancholy, or whatever you want to call it. It is just so typical of posts in here, people saying “yeah, today was okay, good stuff happened, but I still want to die”.
Of course there are also lots of people in here in excruciating and very real pain, people who are abused, ground to a pulp by their circumstances.
Anyway, without sounding too “self-helpey” I’d reccomend reading Stephen R. Covey’s work on perception, can be found in “The 7 Habits”.
To sum up what he’s saying: “The way we see the problem IS the problem.”
Anyway, hope you find it in yourself to rejuvinate your life.
It can be done.
BTW, in no way was I trying to belittle your troubles, sorry if it sounded like it.
My 25 year old daughter killed herself on December 29, 2010 and her 8 and 5 year old found her. She had been having seizures since July and doctors could not explain it. they were getting worse and she couldn’t drive or barely take care of the kids. She was a single mother. We helped with everything we could since the day the oldest was born. Now, the asshold who would have rather smoked pot than feed his kids has them because my daughter never had the money to divorce him. My three grandkids 2, 5 an d8 are now being raised by him. so not only did they have to deal with the disgusting memory of their mother with the cord around her neck, they have to live in a house in a neighborhood with people they don’t really know. You would be surprised at how many people you affect when you take your life and how you affect them. No one can see all the things that can happen and once you do it there is no going back. I know my daughter is in heaven watching things but I believe she would come running back and gather them up and care for them the way they should be if she could. Talk to people who have had and been in similar situations – maybe just one person will give you the words or the line that will help you make sense of it all. God Bless