I like to smile. I don’t know why, but it’s easier that way. I smile when she hits me. I smile when they mock me. I wipe my eyes and I smile. I smile when they scream and rant that I am not good enough. I should be perfect. So I smile. They want to believe it, so I let them.
Damn those voices. They like to mess with my mind. They enjoy my abuse. I can only smile. ******. ******. *****. I’m Aimee’s *****. ****** ***** ******. Dyke. They scream it at me. They know what I am. And so does she.
I hate this worthlessness. I need to be more productive. I need to make a future. Not for me, that’s a stupid thing to believe. There is no future when you’re already dead. No, I’m going to help my sister. She needs to have a road for her. She’ll do what she wants, but I’ll just help her for now.
And I’ll smile. I’ll smile for her.
I feel like Sai with this stupid smile. IM A FAKE!!! Wait, no one can see that. No one can hear that. Everyone just sees a stupid slut that needs to shut up. Maybe I should just stop caring and let go. It would be less painful. Let go.
I want to. I really do.
13 comments
Let go of her. That *itch doesn’t deserve anything more than a slap and a good ass kicking, coming from a girl by the way.
I try but I can’t. I love her and she always pulls me back in. I don’t know. She makes me feel horrible, but she’s the only one I have that knows me. The secret part of me thats crazy. Only she could love me.
Sometimes its just easier to just smile. And who exactly are you talking about?
A girlfriend of mine in the first one. My sister later on. I love them both so much, but my girlfriend is the one person who knows me the best. I love her and shes all I have.
They dont sound very nice. They’re making you feel like shit sorry mate 🙁 How old are you?
I’m 15. I’ve believe we’ve talked before. I recognize the username.
and my sister is. She’s the sweetest thing ever. My girlfriend is debatable.
No matter how much she makes you happy, someone who loves you won’t hurt you.
Oh have we i cant remember sorry. You sound like such a nice person dont let people treat you like shit and yeah i know easier said then done
It’s okay. I’m pretty easy to forget. I’m just a pushover when it comes to standing up for myself. I dn’t know. Sometimes she acts so sweet and then she tells me I’m a worthless blahblah. I want to die then. Like today.
No i wouldnt forget you i’ve just spoken to so many people that i cant remember our conversation but yeah thats how i feel sometimes too. It is hard to stand up for yourself cause your scared that if you do then they’ll leave and hate you i think its the fear of being alone thats why we dont bother plus we cant be bothered fighting you know your not gonna get anywhere. But you deserve better she’s obviously the one with issues dont believe anything she tells you i bet your great
thtz how i feel rite on the spot. i know ill just come running back to her and then thisll start back over again. ugh, i hate this! she probably does have issues and i just try not to notice it. still, she is the only one who is there for me always, so i cant leave her now.
Maybe you should im sure you could do better