I don’t believe I’m saying this but I’ve actually considered one of those hotlines… just wish they had it set up so you could text instead, I don’t want to talk to anyone. Not to mention I run the risk of family finding out if someone wakes up or comes home while I’m on the phone.
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Call them, if someone finds you and you painc just be like “no I am happy with our cable provider” or something like that, or pretend its a relative or one of your friends or work and as calmly as you can hang up. No one knows who you are talking to if they see you on the phone, if you want help then reach out and find it where ever you can
@Paul1991… lol, that uh,”No, I’m happy with our cable” made me laugh,thanks! Especially since its going on Midnight before too long here. Hehe 🙂 No, I know what you’re saying but my husband wanted to know who I was talking to this morning when I was typing something to Hollyb… I just told him I was writing, but I’ve always been a lousy liar. Now he thinks I’m having an afair, or at least in contact with someone. The LAST THING I need is for him to get up to go to the bathroom and be sitting here on the phone. Its a straight shot from our bedroom doorway to the couch.
Ok well I wish you all the best, I understand you don’t want your husband to know. I hope you can find a way to get some help if you want it
@Paul1991… I go for counseling 3 times a week but life just seems like a dead end and hopeless, that its only a matter of time. Sometimes I wonder however.
If my family would understand, if they would forgive me, If I can go through with it, if I want to go through with it, if I can do it without ending up brain damaged, if my Matt, my shrink… and friend would forgive me. And then I’m back to I can’t live like this and trying to find a way out. But for now since I still wonder about all those things, I’m here.
While while your here things can get better, I know it seems pretty much impossible and I understand how it feels to feel trapped in a life you don’t want BUT what if as impossible as it sounds tomorrow is the say where things start to change? What if things are already changing you just can’t see it right now? You have reasons to live you just listed two of them, family, Matt. If you made it through today why can’t you make it through tomorrow? I don’t at all claim to have any idea of how you feel or think I have it anywhere as bad as you I am just trying to try and offer whatever support I can.
Lol @ Paul… made me chuckle to that. There must be occasssions where you are on your own? Like Paul said, if someone walks in just put the phone down calmly.
I am glad you have at least thought of calling them. That is a start. It means you are still trying. 🙂
x
suicide hotline people are only really helpful if they can relate to you, and their only real job is to distract you long enough so you won’t hurt yourself. I used to call the suicide hotlines a few years back just to see what they could offer. Sometimes it was a psychologist doing volunteer work who was of no more use than my regular psychiatrist, sometimes it was a born again christian telling me to find Jesus, it always made me feel worse talking to them. I find that boards like these or friends are a far better source of hope.
I agree that the fact you have thought of picking up the phone and calling is a good start and shows you still have hope x
People on here however seem to have 1st hand experience and possibly better to talk to anyway x
Journey, I have been a walking hotline for many people…I know the territory and can help. So if you need a life line, you can skype me softsoul9 – I’ll give you my other contact info should you feel talking will help. Cheers!